I'm smoking Lambert and Butler today, because today I don't like myself. Nicotine depresses me. So does the rain. So does my saying "sorry" aloud in the street when I thought of Lauren just now.
Today is like many. I started smoking B&H silver for the same reason but they're too nice now.
Last night was good though, appart from meeting a very pretentious beauty on the way home. She chatted me up, and I was drunk, and she just thought that I was pretty. Are there classes in social skills? Does this website 'offer' them? Anyway. This pretty girl ruined the end of my night and I didn't feel good this morning.
[note. Why didn't I learn to use all of those words that express feeling, positives and negatives especially?]
My friend (ok ok, I'll admit it: another exgirlfriend - but this one I kept sane so that's alright) Beth left to catch the midnight bus so, for the first time, as was hailed by the fine young man, I hung out with Liam. I behaved a little like his minder, when he needed it (exstreme sports like drink thieving need that safety eliment and he was genuinely glad I that had his back) but I got to play his straight man in the gents for 15minutes too. I went in there and found him chatting to an out-of-place looking bloke in a tracksuit, sporting a sweaty top lip and a crooked hairline. Liam is just finding his flow, talking to his victim using sentances that always have one completely unitelligble word in them. Liam's very charismatic and so the older guy is actually going along with him and agreeing, telling Liam how he is a man who stands up for what he believes in and that he's handsome and looks hip hop. Liam's wearing a dirty suit and shirt, a tie and a huge plastic diamond so maybe this bloke isn't being completely honest. He holds my head close to his chest and then continues. I pipe up to keep it going, adding slightly to the confusion. Soon he has a fairly large audience of pissing men and men with fashionable mullets from the Trent University, I'd guess. His Eddie Izzard type act is reaching the end of it's natural track and so he opens his remitt and turns the toilet into an open forum on the issue of whether or not Fern Britten is currently "testing for aids." "From these walls. From that sticker - on the wall of the boys toilets in rescue rooms." Someone askes if she had been rubbing her vagina on the walls. Liam gets up from his seat in the urinal and declares it to be so. A blonde chap gives his name as Fern, adding "Fern Britten" right away and I swear that niether of us looked at him again before I managed to get that prince out of there to look for the others. I can't see Katie or Vicky but JVB is pretty much where I left him and he'd found Adam, in the locals' corner. We head off up the staff staircase to dance at the bottom of the public one for the last half hour but I didn't see Liam again. I wonder if he met the guy who lives on his road, Hunger Hill. It's in St.Annz and is reputedly where the plague hit worst but you can't trust a thing that Liam says to you, whoever you are.
I'm going to the independant cimema tonight to see Motorcycle Diaries with a talk/lecture/discussion after. I'm going with Alix Kingerby-Thorpe. She is Liams ex, from a good while ago but he splitt up with Katie this week because she asked him if he still had feelings for her and he said "yes". Liam is as ugly in the face as roadkill but he's tall and has good posture. You have heard about his sense of humour. Katie and Alix are both very pretty and well thought of, (I even made my peace with Kt recently, with smiles and polite concern and a few jokes - after Leonore, the singer in my old band and her accused me of ruining Beth's life, precipiting the way I am now and failing to see her own role in Beth's melancholy. I knew that B was OK all along but I was there for her and she stayed in my spare room for so many nights while her mum and dad broke up again this year). That is the longest story ever and soon enough I will put into a single paragraph. I love a long paragraph.
The length of the previous may have obscured the sad fact that I am almost going on a date with Liam's love. Dammit. It isn't a date!
My life is like a bad dream. Had a good dream last night tho. I dreamt of how I'd get with my friend Abby. Dudeys, it was so easy but now she's going out with Joe and I am quite sure that it's just a glorified fuck buddy thing. I don't know but That 1030, too many CFCs.
Today is like many. I started smoking B&H silver for the same reason but they're too nice now.
Last night was good though, appart from meeting a very pretentious beauty on the way home. She chatted me up, and I was drunk, and she just thought that I was pretty. Are there classes in social skills? Does this website 'offer' them? Anyway. This pretty girl ruined the end of my night and I didn't feel good this morning.
[note. Why didn't I learn to use all of those words that express feeling, positives and negatives especially?]
My friend (ok ok, I'll admit it: another exgirlfriend - but this one I kept sane so that's alright) Beth left to catch the midnight bus so, for the first time, as was hailed by the fine young man, I hung out with Liam. I behaved a little like his minder, when he needed it (exstreme sports like drink thieving need that safety eliment and he was genuinely glad I that had his back) but I got to play his straight man in the gents for 15minutes too. I went in there and found him chatting to an out-of-place looking bloke in a tracksuit, sporting a sweaty top lip and a crooked hairline. Liam is just finding his flow, talking to his victim using sentances that always have one completely unitelligble word in them. Liam's very charismatic and so the older guy is actually going along with him and agreeing, telling Liam how he is a man who stands up for what he believes in and that he's handsome and looks hip hop. Liam's wearing a dirty suit and shirt, a tie and a huge plastic diamond so maybe this bloke isn't being completely honest. He holds my head close to his chest and then continues. I pipe up to keep it going, adding slightly to the confusion. Soon he has a fairly large audience of pissing men and men with fashionable mullets from the Trent University, I'd guess. His Eddie Izzard type act is reaching the end of it's natural track and so he opens his remitt and turns the toilet into an open forum on the issue of whether or not Fern Britten is currently "testing for aids." "From these walls. From that sticker - on the wall of the boys toilets in rescue rooms." Someone askes if she had been rubbing her vagina on the walls. Liam gets up from his seat in the urinal and declares it to be so. A blonde chap gives his name as Fern, adding "Fern Britten" right away and I swear that niether of us looked at him again before I managed to get that prince out of there to look for the others. I can't see Katie or Vicky but JVB is pretty much where I left him and he'd found Adam, in the locals' corner. We head off up the staff staircase to dance at the bottom of the public one for the last half hour but I didn't see Liam again. I wonder if he met the guy who lives on his road, Hunger Hill. It's in St.Annz and is reputedly where the plague hit worst but you can't trust a thing that Liam says to you, whoever you are.
I'm going to the independant cimema tonight to see Motorcycle Diaries with a talk/lecture/discussion after. I'm going with Alix Kingerby-Thorpe. She is Liams ex, from a good while ago but he splitt up with Katie this week because she asked him if he still had feelings for her and he said "yes". Liam is as ugly in the face as roadkill but he's tall and has good posture. You have heard about his sense of humour. Katie and Alix are both very pretty and well thought of, (I even made my peace with Kt recently, with smiles and polite concern and a few jokes - after Leonore, the singer in my old band and her accused me of ruining Beth's life, precipiting the way I am now and failing to see her own role in Beth's melancholy. I knew that B was OK all along but I was there for her and she stayed in my spare room for so many nights while her mum and dad broke up again this year). That is the longest story ever and soon enough I will put into a single paragraph. I love a long paragraph.
The length of the previous may have obscured the sad fact that I am almost going on a date with Liam's love. Dammit. It isn't a date!
My life is like a bad dream. Had a good dream last night tho. I dreamt of how I'd get with my friend Abby. Dudeys, it was so easy but now she's going out with Joe and I am quite sure that it's just a glorified fuck buddy thing. I don't know but That 1030, too many CFCs.
so after all that, no poems?
c'mon man, let me in!