hey_mama

up and down... up and down...

my emotions are like a fucking rollercoaster. i don't know which way is up and i have this intense burning in the backs of my eyes inside my mind.

misunderstandings dictate my day today... verbal diarrhea spewing all over the place... a little here... a little there.

there's no safety net. no one to hold my hand and help me up when i fall.

so much to say but no words with which to say it...
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i was thinking about my sister the other day. i was thinking about something she said to me in one of the last e-mails... from the last e-mail fights we had. i never posted it i don't think... anyway... my sister said that she couldn't believe that i would talk to my brother or husband about what she had written me. shit... i need to quote it...

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"... how is it that i can keep our stuff between us but you have to bring EVERYONE else into it. grow the fuck up. "
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ok... so i was thinking about that and i feel like its akin to a pedophile telling a kid not to tell the secret. its only to save the pedophile's own ass because they're doing something fucked up and don't want anyone to know.

i feel like my sister knows she's saying fucked up shit to me and just doesn't want me to tell anyone so that no one knows just how wicked and evil she can be.

so fucking lame...