hey_mama

**blue light special**

validation through beauty
do you find me beautiful?
i find myself wondering
while i glide through & then past your gaze

doesn't really matter who you are...
male, female, young, or old
it all means the same to me

if i am beautiful in your eyes
then somehow i am good and perfect
in this social bubble of flawless wonder

where brains are merely a bonus ~
a door prize at the party of perfection

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i feel numb today. tired and sad and full of something i cannot accurately name. i type these words and i see them appear like magic in the little box. i am unable to control their meaning.

i jar the box inside my head to try and get to the bottom of this... this odd numbness... it happens sometimes.

this numbness just overwhelms that which i hold dear and all things seem tainted with death, dishonor, and vileness. all things that once felt good... peaceful even are now menacing and unsafe.

it is a cruel and wretched world we live in and the finger is pointed at us... me and mine.

in time it will be behind us but when that "in time"'s end will be... i do not know.