hexek

Yet another journal....

Well I just got back from the MANSON show. It was awsome. Trithfully I think if was quick and just didnt have the feel as they usually do, but it was fucking Manson so who cares it was still good.

I wished there were more protesters though, they seem to make the experience better.

I wore an SG pin thinking someone at the bar or lobby or wherever would notice and maybe say hi , but no. I also am having a sorta weird feeling. See I went to the SG Live show, but I really didnt conversate with anyone that was there other then to buy stuff.

I am starting to think that I dont really fit in, which yes, kind makes me suicide like but I havent really been to a function and talked to other members. Do I really fit in? Will I be to shy to say hi to other SG pplz? Im feening for an event and Im going to try to go the the Rocky Horror Picture Show Live event listed. I have only been to one other live show a while back but Im hoping I can maybe find some other SG'er that might wanna tag along or let me tag?...........Oh well we shall see.

Anyways the show rocked, loved the girls, SLUNT was pretty good, and Manson was great as always.

So again I leave you with a personal lyric to describe me...

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride / from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I / sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I / try to catch them red - handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I cant hold on / when Im stretched so thin
I make the right moves but Im lost within
I put on my daily faade but then
I just end up getting hurt again by myself

I ask why, but in my mind
I find I cant rely on myself

I cant hold on
To what I want when Im stretched so thin
Its all too much to take in
I cant hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I Turn my back Im defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then theyll
Take from me till everything is gone
If I let them go Ill be outdone
But if I try to catch them Ill be outrun
If Im killed by the questions like a cancer
Then Ill be buried in the silence of the answer

How do you think / Ive lost so much
Im so afraid / Im out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
Dont you (know)
I cant tell you how to make it (go)
No matter what I do, how hard I (try)
I cant seem to convince myself (why)
Im stuck on the outside