hexek

Ahh, well my journal entries are growing. I like staying current. I'll get out of it in a while but until then I have another one.

1) This site amazes me more and more every day. It is cool how many different people can come together and have common interests but you would never see them talk to each other in person. I have deffinatelly met some cool peoplz.

2)MY MAIN GRIPE... OK well its christmas and my father who i dont really talk to has sent me his latest peace offering. My step sisters who he raised both got cars, houses, and weddings all paid for by him. I get a check in the mail with a generic card, thats it!

My father has only been to ONE fucking place that I have lived, only one! I have followed in his footsteps by becoming a railroader, I became a US Marine and after all my accomplishments Im still his ex wifes mistake. He sent me $100 this year which is more then normal, he must be feeling really bad or something. I dont want to cash it but I really need it so Im going to cash it so he feels good and so I can put gas in the car.

I dont want to sound greedy but I think I should get something more. I would be happy with a personal appearance or an old train memoribillia that he has kept, or anything else. He sends me money cause he doesnt know what I want. He doesnt know what I want cause he doesnt know me. And he doesnt know me cause he doesnt have the patients to try to get to know me.

FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!

3) Im so fucking hyped over the Manson show on moday. I cannot wait. Its just been a while since Ive seen him or a band I really know, for a while. I will let you know how it turns out.

Well if anyone reads my journals they are probably tiered of reading by now so Ill shut up.

I again leave you with a lyric, in honor of Mr. Warner...

They slit our throats
Like we were flowers
And our milk has been devoured

When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think you're free
The crack inside you fucking heart is me

I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day

I wish I could sleep
But I can't lay on my back
Because ther's a knife
For everyday that I've known you

I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day

Lie to me, cry to me, give to me
I would
Lie with me, die with me, give to me
I would
Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair
I hope at least we die holding hands for always

***Oh Yeah***

Not that it matters but today is sorta like my third birthday. I graduated Marine Corps Boot Camp on this day only five years ago. That day I became a Man and a United States Marine.