Jealousy is needless. No one's life is perfect no matter what you think. I found out a "friend" (I use quotes because I sometimes go a year without seeing or speaking to her.) might be bulimic. This is a girl I have been madly jealous of for years. One of those people you fixate on and develop this weird crush on. Not sexual in anyway, just...you want to be them so much, even if it was for a day. Everytime I see her she is thinner and thinner and thinner. And I feel so absolutely horrible for thoughts I am having right now. I can't find it in me to feel compasion for her. I've struggled with eating disorders and nearly non-existant self esteem and there's this sick voice in my head saying "she's even more perfect because she has the control over her food you could never follow through with." She's gorgeous and thin and is a terrific actress and has so many friends and men and family and money and clothes and talent and the respect of the department and professors and personality and I am this horrible jealous monster who ends up hating her for no reason. She has never said an unkind word to me, has helped me with so many things, has been nothing but warm and welcoming to me and all I can feel is..."bitch." I feel like my heart is rotten right now.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Why is really skinny so good? You're not even approaching being overweight (just going on your pics here). I don't get it.
You said it yourself ... lack of self-esteem. I've got the same problem and I know how it can distort your vision.