hexe_____

I hate this feeling of helplessness that has been developing over the past couple of months. Not being able to go where I want when I want. Having to rely on people who are building up resentment towards me then letting out their little frustrations on me so they can have a way to yell at me without having to deal with the actual issue at hand. I feel like crap right now. I need food and medicine right now but I have no way of getting to the store. The bus in my neighborhood doesn't go to my pharmacy and my roommates are being bitches. So here I am in desparate need of some fucking tampons and pads and my birth control. I'm going to bleed like a stuck pig until tomorrow when somone will be compassionate enough to take me to the goddamn store. I can't exactly drive right now since I don't have a car and oh, I don't know, have a driving restriction because I might just start having a seizure behind the wheel and kill an entire highway!

get this. I come home today. No one's home except for one of my roommates and she is in her room doing homework. so I decide to bring in my blanket and my comfy pillow and lay on the couch and watch some mindless TV. I'm all comfy with my tea, the blinds shut, and all the lights out except for the tiny christmas lights we have draped around our bar area. My roommate, who is in her room, comes in and starts bitching at me "can we please leave the blinds open, I have a headache! waaaaaaaaah". Um, dumb bitch. Having the bright fucking sun everywhere isn't going to help. How can you say the dark gives you a headache!!!!??? and she was in her room!!!! it's one thing if we're all in there because they all like sunlight, so I don't care if they want the blinds open, I'll happily leave the room and retreat to my nice little cave. and she says I'm wasting electricity. I had a strand of christmas lights on, Oh. My. God!!!!!!! "Coming from my room to the living room gives me a headache because of the lights." She's walking into a dark living room!!! And I don't know how many times I have to tell her that bright light may cause a seizure for me. It even says on my bottle of trileptal to not have prolonged exposure to sunlight. I'm on campus all day walking around in the sun, then in bright as hell classrooms that have broken flickering lights in some of them and I'm sitting there in sunglasses sometimes. UGFGJHFdfgksjdgfkhgsd! I am seeeeeeeeething right now. I'm sitting in my room and it is pitch dark except for my computer and I have my music blaring. I. am. pissed.

another thing is really pissing me off is two of my roommates who told me and my mother at the begining of the semester that it was ok to drive me around. my mom even gives them money and tells them all the time how much she appreciates their help, as do I but they have this amazing ability to make me feel so guilty for asking for a ride to go refill my perscription, or to go buy food. these are at places where the bus doesn't go. I don't have a choice. I would take the bus if I could! But don't sit there and say it's ok to take me places then be all resentful and bitchy to me later!

fuck.

buy me things from my wishlist to make me feel better. Please?

edit

U.N.K.L.E. is rad as hell. fuck yeah.