I fall to pieces...
That song is in my head.
my favorite site of the moment. I used to go here everyday a few months back, lost the address, and then found it. yay!.
Last night's dream consisted of the Apocolypse, me being a call girl for Kid Rock's service, of which Brandy (Moesha, not the SG) was also employed. Mulder and Scully I think were there. So was Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Buffy. I smell sitcom.
I need to address something. I started thinking of this when my mother compared me to George Constanza (eegad!). I honestly do not know how to be a friend. I don't. I've had one the past 10 years or so. She went to a different high school, a different college, and now she lives in Ohio for the time being. I am stumped on the rules of friendship. I don't kow. I never call people-not out of some mean spirited attempt to ignore them, I just always asume they are supposed to call me. and then I cry when they don't, and when they do I am too shy to call them back. I have phone anxiety. I have never had an argument with said friend of 10 years, so I have not clue what I would do if conflict were to arise. It would terrify me. I am not used to people outside my family being upset with me. So if there's something with someone who is not, indeed, a member of my family I dwell on it for days until I feel like my chest is about to cave in and I freak out, and am paranoid they hate me forever. I am not used to people not liking me. I am not used to people really liking me either, I just kind of float around in my own little world, not really talking to anyone or doing much socializing. I belong on Seinfeld, I swear. I am that inept when it comes to people and society.
I don't know what else to talk about today.
EDIT: JUNE 29th 2004
I had a dream last night I got to see SGB. Argrgrgr. Stupid Indiana and their stupid laws. If I can vote, buy porn, go off to war, and kill myself with cigarettes why the hell can't I see a freaking Burlesque show?
That song is in my head.
my favorite site of the moment. I used to go here everyday a few months back, lost the address, and then found it. yay!.
Last night's dream consisted of the Apocolypse, me being a call girl for Kid Rock's service, of which Brandy (Moesha, not the SG) was also employed. Mulder and Scully I think were there. So was Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Buffy. I smell sitcom.
I need to address something. I started thinking of this when my mother compared me to George Constanza (eegad!). I honestly do not know how to be a friend. I don't. I've had one the past 10 years or so. She went to a different high school, a different college, and now she lives in Ohio for the time being. I am stumped on the rules of friendship. I don't kow. I never call people-not out of some mean spirited attempt to ignore them, I just always asume they are supposed to call me. and then I cry when they don't, and when they do I am too shy to call them back. I have phone anxiety. I have never had an argument with said friend of 10 years, so I have not clue what I would do if conflict were to arise. It would terrify me. I am not used to people outside my family being upset with me. So if there's something with someone who is not, indeed, a member of my family I dwell on it for days until I feel like my chest is about to cave in and I freak out, and am paranoid they hate me forever. I am not used to people not liking me. I am not used to people really liking me either, I just kind of float around in my own little world, not really talking to anyone or doing much socializing. I belong on Seinfeld, I swear. I am that inept when it comes to people and society.
I don't know what else to talk about today.
EDIT: JUNE 29th 2004
I had a dream last night I got to see SGB. Argrgrgr. Stupid Indiana and their stupid laws. If I can vote, buy porn, go off to war, and kill myself with cigarettes why the hell can't I see a freaking Burlesque show?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
How you just described yourself in your journal, that's pretty much me to the letter. My only friend are the one that have approached me and staying in touch. Phone calls/letters/talking, all of that is pretty much on their shoulders... I don't feel right calling someone. I mean, if they really want to talk to me, they'll call me. I know exactly how you feel.
Take it easy, gorgeous.