Another paragraph I wrote...
sometimes in life we contract a problem that is almost impossible to answer. we could sit for days trying to think of a solution, but all we're really doing is marinating in our own defacation. i have reason to believe that after everything, there is a moment when all the clouds clear and light shines through. warms your face, lets you see, lets you feel..
yesterday was a long day. one of the longest days of my life. did i learn my lesson? i don't really feel it had anything to do with learning, but more association with emotions. yesterday i felt the pain of a thousand years. everything i've ever done that has ravaged others or myself was calculated into 20 minutes. this may not be the same association for others that were in the exact building as i was in, but instead of seeing the clouds clear, i saw florescent lighting above my head as my eyes rolled back into a post/present-traumatic state.
so what goes next when theres nothing left to trash? who fails first: the over-achiever or the silent genius? when do you find that perfect love? and when do we finally stop and look around at what we're doing to ourselves, to others, to the world? i'm not looking for answers that continue to talk about that born-again bullshit. but realization, not based on logic or idealism, but that one thought when you know what has just occured without influence, or dramatization. and when you do reach it, the clouds will clear. and the unknown unconscious is suddenly no longer fearful anymore.
a self-play really, a game that has finally ended without a winner or a loser.
no polar opposite, no negative or positive.
just...that.
-L
sometimes in life we contract a problem that is almost impossible to answer. we could sit for days trying to think of a solution, but all we're really doing is marinating in our own defacation. i have reason to believe that after everything, there is a moment when all the clouds clear and light shines through. warms your face, lets you see, lets you feel..
yesterday was a long day. one of the longest days of my life. did i learn my lesson? i don't really feel it had anything to do with learning, but more association with emotions. yesterday i felt the pain of a thousand years. everything i've ever done that has ravaged others or myself was calculated into 20 minutes. this may not be the same association for others that were in the exact building as i was in, but instead of seeing the clouds clear, i saw florescent lighting above my head as my eyes rolled back into a post/present-traumatic state.
so what goes next when theres nothing left to trash? who fails first: the over-achiever or the silent genius? when do you find that perfect love? and when do we finally stop and look around at what we're doing to ourselves, to others, to the world? i'm not looking for answers that continue to talk about that born-again bullshit. but realization, not based on logic or idealism, but that one thought when you know what has just occured without influence, or dramatization. and when you do reach it, the clouds will clear. and the unknown unconscious is suddenly no longer fearful anymore.
a self-play really, a game that has finally ended without a winner or a loser.
no polar opposite, no negative or positive.
just...that.
-L
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xoxo
~Ro