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MEET DRUNKEN LARRY
Back when I used to work at The Hurricane, I kicked this crazy drunk guy out of the bar. He asked me if he could use the bathroom before he left, and I told him to just get the fuck out. He then replied, "fine then I'll just piss on your wall outside." So I immediately grabbed a poloroid and snapped this picture, and hung his picture up on the wall where we keep a list of the people that were 86'd. They let him come back in after I got fired for throwing a crackhead out by his head. He now pinches the asses of every woman that comes in. Since I was fired, Larry and I have become great friends. He also gives great advice. So I was actually inspired to get him to give advice to the those who need it. So every Monday night you may e-mail your questions to me and I will relay them to drunken Larry.
So our first question comes from Sara in Magnolia.
She writes:
Dear Drunken Larry, I am seriously in love with this girl, we've dated each other off and on for a year, but she doesn't feel the same way about me.
Dear Sara, I think you may have made a typo. You wrote that you were in love with a girl. Don't worry I'll correct that typo. What you should do is dump this BOY and find someone that finds you special. I remember when I was on my tour of duty in nam. My wife at the time in the states was screwing around with one of the guys from the fucking draft board. That fat bitch ate my heart out like a big bowl of raviolli. Fuck her!!! Fuck her!!!! So I went out on my next leave to find a whore. Back then you could get one for an american nickel, and they had three titties. I got sent home early for a new disease I contracted. Projectile Leprosy of the penis. And that's why I have a prostetic penis. It's grey. God bless America. Whoo!!!!!![]()
MEET DRUNKEN LARRY
Back when I used to work at The Hurricane, I kicked this crazy drunk guy out of the bar. He asked me if he could use the bathroom before he left, and I told him to just get the fuck out. He then replied, "fine then I'll just piss on your wall outside." So I immediately grabbed a poloroid and snapped this picture, and hung his picture up on the wall where we keep a list of the people that were 86'd. They let him come back in after I got fired for throwing a crackhead out by his head. He now pinches the asses of every woman that comes in. Since I was fired, Larry and I have become great friends. He also gives great advice. So I was actually inspired to get him to give advice to the those who need it. So every Monday night you may e-mail your questions to me and I will relay them to drunken Larry.
So our first question comes from Sara in Magnolia.
She writes:
Dear Drunken Larry, I am seriously in love with this girl, we've dated each other off and on for a year, but she doesn't feel the same way about me.
Dear Sara, I think you may have made a typo. You wrote that you were in love with a girl. Don't worry I'll correct that typo. What you should do is dump this BOY and find someone that finds you special. I remember when I was on my tour of duty in nam. My wife at the time in the states was screwing around with one of the guys from the fucking draft board. That fat bitch ate my heart out like a big bowl of raviolli. Fuck her!!! Fuck her!!!! So I went out on my next leave to find a whore. Back then you could get one for an american nickel, and they had three titties. I got sent home early for a new disease I contracted. Projectile Leprosy of the penis. And that's why I have a prostetic penis. It's grey. God bless America. Whoo!!!!!
Sorry about THE MOOD