A Short Rant by Henry Garnes
I've lived on this land for a considerable amount of time. The only thing that has made a negative impact on me living here other than CNN, or crackheads, or corporations ass-pounding their employees, is the stereotypes that many of us put on our fellow Americans. You know stuff like, "Oh he's Irish, he must be a drunk.", or "this guys Italian, so he must have ties with the mafia, and he's a drunk.". I'm black, and it's been noted that I have some native american in me. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to get drunk and spray paint buffalos on the side of the bus. With the exception of a few other comics that I know, I consider myself quite witty. But when I come across someone that calls me "the whitest black guy that they've ever met", The only thing I want to do is smash their beer bottle across their face and make their girlfriend, or boyfriend hold my jacket.
The last incident this happened, was when someone that I've known for a while said that to me, and he's said it a few times. I would expect such a moronic comment from some hick that I've while doing the Aryan circuit, but not from such a well read person as this guy. At the time this was even more offensive, because this guy happens to be white, and he happens to be what the writers of those bad eighties movies considered to be a villain. He walks his cat on a leash, and does really creepy things to girls. If you come out and see a show of mine you'll totally know what I'm talking about.
I did a show in Sacramento a few years back, and the guy that played steve urkell called me the whitest guy on this planet. I go, "Hey you used to play Urkell on television for ten years!". And he goes " Yo dawg, make one more comment about my Urkell shit, and I'll bust a cap in yo ass!". Yeah Urkells all gangster now, but I still had to laugh like hell.
That's it. That's my rant. Most of it's true, with the exception of the Urkell thing. Feel free to help tighten this up if you'd like. I'm always open to suggestions. I must warn you all that this has gone well with audiences and it's been recorded, and it's most likely going to make it on the CD.
I've lived on this land for a considerable amount of time. The only thing that has made a negative impact on me living here other than CNN, or crackheads, or corporations ass-pounding their employees, is the stereotypes that many of us put on our fellow Americans. You know stuff like, "Oh he's Irish, he must be a drunk.", or "this guys Italian, so he must have ties with the mafia, and he's a drunk.". I'm black, and it's been noted that I have some native american in me. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to get drunk and spray paint buffalos on the side of the bus. With the exception of a few other comics that I know, I consider myself quite witty. But when I come across someone that calls me "the whitest black guy that they've ever met", The only thing I want to do is smash their beer bottle across their face and make their girlfriend, or boyfriend hold my jacket.
The last incident this happened, was when someone that I've known for a while said that to me, and he's said it a few times. I would expect such a moronic comment from some hick that I've while doing the Aryan circuit, but not from such a well read person as this guy. At the time this was even more offensive, because this guy happens to be white, and he happens to be what the writers of those bad eighties movies considered to be a villain. He walks his cat on a leash, and does really creepy things to girls. If you come out and see a show of mine you'll totally know what I'm talking about.
I did a show in Sacramento a few years back, and the guy that played steve urkell called me the whitest guy on this planet. I go, "Hey you used to play Urkell on television for ten years!". And he goes " Yo dawg, make one more comment about my Urkell shit, and I'll bust a cap in yo ass!". Yeah Urkells all gangster now, but I still had to laugh like hell.
That's it. That's my rant. Most of it's true, with the exception of the Urkell thing. Feel free to help tighten this up if you'd like. I'm always open to suggestions. I must warn you all that this has gone well with audiences and it's been recorded, and it's most likely going to make it on the CD.
We can talk about Thursday later. You really should consider Amy.
Under "Makes me sad" you have sicknwrong. Why?????