Nothing like paying your credit card bills and watching your paycheck whittle away to nothing.
Sigh...
Definitely not bringing any money to the reptile show.
Oh well.
My apathy is setting in HARD.
I am rewatching my all time favorite series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and even Xander is barely making my chuckle. That is bad.
I am not even sure why it's set in so bad.
I mean, if I look at it "glass half full", I have a full time job. I have an apartment. I have an awesome fiance.
But then my normal pessimist side kicks in and points out that I dislike my full time job, I fucking hate my cold, small apartment and the bitch of a landlord, and my awesome fiance's debt is going to crush us...
Meanwhile, she keeps talking about how much she wants a house, and kids, and to be a stay at home mom....but is doing NOTHING to find a better job to pay off that debt so we can actually achieve those things, and she gets all subject avoiding when I bring up filing for bankruptcy.
My grandmother messaged me and told me both Thanksgiving and Christmas are happening at my cousin's place. The same cousin who is the reason I live in this shitty apartment...
nope. Not happening.
First off, the past two Christmas parties have been people swooning all the various kids my cousins and their spouses have squirt out, and Christine and I sitting in the corner awkwardly being ignored.
Not happening again this year.
Second...I am not stepping foot in that fucking building ever again. Fuck my cousin, fuck her husband and fuck their neanderthal children. End of story.
Thanksgiving I can pass on easily. I will be going to my brother's place and hanging out with my family who actually cares. (Mom, step dad, bro and sister-in-law).
I really need to work up the guts to tell my dad's side off. (Except Grandma)
My jovial, cherub like demeanor is being smothered by my apathy towards everything, and slowly it is dying. Not really sure what will be left if that side dies.
Actually...I am...
I will be a carbon copy of my father...and that, is more terrifying than anything in the world to me.
At least I found the most cheerful song about hate ever.
-Me
Sigh...
Definitely not bringing any money to the reptile show.
Oh well.
My apathy is setting in HARD.
I am rewatching my all time favorite series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and even Xander is barely making my chuckle. That is bad.
I am not even sure why it's set in so bad.
I mean, if I look at it "glass half full", I have a full time job. I have an apartment. I have an awesome fiance.
But then my normal pessimist side kicks in and points out that I dislike my full time job, I fucking hate my cold, small apartment and the bitch of a landlord, and my awesome fiance's debt is going to crush us...
Meanwhile, she keeps talking about how much she wants a house, and kids, and to be a stay at home mom....but is doing NOTHING to find a better job to pay off that debt so we can actually achieve those things, and she gets all subject avoiding when I bring up filing for bankruptcy.
My grandmother messaged me and told me both Thanksgiving and Christmas are happening at my cousin's place. The same cousin who is the reason I live in this shitty apartment...
nope. Not happening.
First off, the past two Christmas parties have been people swooning all the various kids my cousins and their spouses have squirt out, and Christine and I sitting in the corner awkwardly being ignored.
Not happening again this year.
Second...I am not stepping foot in that fucking building ever again. Fuck my cousin, fuck her husband and fuck their neanderthal children. End of story.
Thanksgiving I can pass on easily. I will be going to my brother's place and hanging out with my family who actually cares. (Mom, step dad, bro and sister-in-law).
I really need to work up the guts to tell my dad's side off. (Except Grandma)
My jovial, cherub like demeanor is being smothered by my apathy towards everything, and slowly it is dying. Not really sure what will be left if that side dies.
Actually...I am...
I will be a carbon copy of my father...and that, is more terrifying than anything in the world to me.
At least I found the most cheerful song about hate ever.
-Me
carment4:
Wow. I feel your pain. Actually I am hurting financially right now so I can relate. Pretty much on all levels. I hope things turn around on you, it is always hard to be a glass full kind of person, but it will help you. My glass is pretty much ALWAYS half empty though so me actually typing that in to say to another person is fairly ridiculous.