hemaniscool

So, I'm going back packing around Europe on Wednesday. I should be excited (I guess a little bit of me is) but I'm mostly anxious as fuck.

I've suffered with anxiety since I was about 16. At my worst when I was in my early 20's I was a complete recluse. I couldn't leave the house or even my bedroom without being hit with waves of anxiety. This went on for a few years. Held me back a lot. I had to start again. Build my confidence up like a child taking it's first steps into the big world.

But, here I am after years of struggle and pushing my boundaries about to go traveling. It's been 12 years. I am shitting it.

But, I'm going with some good people. I know if I freak out I'll be in safe hands. I just hope I can relax enough to enjoy myself.

Life is hard. Unfortunately for me my life is only really hard because my stupid brain makes it so. I wish I could relax and just have fun like most people seem to be able to, but I can't. I have to work at it. But it ain't so bad. There are people out there with real problems.

This courage wolf pretty much sums up my feelings on my life and how I need to keep pushing myself:


Anyway, wish me luck.