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hemaniscool

Bristol UK

Member Since 2009

Followers 152 Following 185

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Friday Sep 17, 2010

Sep 17, 2010
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I am so fucking bored right now. Been working really hard lately. Drawing lots. Drinking lots. But right now I'm just bored. I'm not really in the mood to go out. I had a crappy day at work so I'm not in the mood to draw. It's just one of those times where I'd love to just sit and watch some films with someone special or something y'know. Being on your own ALL the time does get a bit boring after a while.

I've changed a lot over the last few months I noticed. In some good and bad ways.

Good ways:
- My confidence in my art has grown a hell of a lot. I finally have the confidence to take my time with a comic and not just rush to the end. I actually like most of what I draw.
- I finally feel like I'm getting to a point where I can change job. I've been stuck in a rut for a while. I'm ready to move on now.
- I've realised I have a lot of really good friends. I've been hanging out with loads of really good fun people lately. Doing different things. I actually seem to have a life. It's really cool. I've always felt like such an outsider. But I don't so much these days.
- My problems with anxiety/panic attacks have really dropped. I hardly ever have panic attacks these days. I'm not getting ahead of myself, I know I'll have them again. They'll always be with me, but, I've come so far. Especially over the last year or so. There's one person who really helped me. She'll probably never know it which is a shame.

Bad ways:
- Drinking has become a real habit now. I didn't even really start drinking until I was about 25 but it's a normal thing now. Trouble is when I go on a night out now I don't just get drunk I get fucked. I used to know when to stop. I guess I still do but I don't care and just keep going. I guess I'm just like everyone else now. Drinking away their troubles.
- I'm still kinda miserable now and then. I'm just doing everything in my power to ignore it. It's not a huge thing though.

Well, I guess things have changed in a mostly positive way. smile

Ooooh I drew this:

Ain't she lush. biggrin

I got the new album by 'The sword'. It's pretty good. Not as good as their previous albums, but they're still one of my favourite bands around right now. They're playing Bristol soon. Can't wait for that.

Right, I've changed my mind. I'm not gonna sit here on my own feeling grumpy, I'm gonna go to the pub and feel grumpy around other people.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
mentalrage:
I like the art squire.
Sep 22, 2010
squee:
Thank you very much sir, gave me a serious headache though, people tugging it upwards all day, now fun! That lady you've drawn is stunning! love Glad to hear you're on the up x
Sep 25, 2010

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