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hemaniscool

Bristol UK

Member Since 2009

Followers 152 Following 185

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Saturday May 29, 2010

May 29, 2010
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Hey hey,

Feeling a bit glum the last couple of days. Need to vent a bit.

Good things:
Comics - My art is going really well right now. I'm enjoying drawing again. My productivity has gone up. People like my work. More importantly I like my work. I actually feel like the dream of earning money from it isn't just a pipe dream anymore. I actually think I might actually make it. There's still a way to go however. The comic expo was unreal last week. Bit of a come down now.

Friends - I've got some amazing friends. Plain and simple.

Not so good things:
The 'Normal' job - This week has been really stressful at work. My shifts basically involve me standing at a till for 5 hours straight. It's right next to a huge window that the sun shines in all day. It's been like standing in a green house this week. Serving loadsa people, most of whom are nice but there's always a couple that are rude and will just put you in a bad mood for the rest of the day. My job is the same everyday. It never changes. Same people coming in. No extra responsibilities. No extra challenges. No nothing. Just stand and serve. I'll admit I'm out of ideas on job hunting. I just don't know what else to do. I have no degrees/qualifications (I put all my attention into drawing), no skills, my CV is pretty shit. I know that in person I can impress. But, these days employers judge you on paper rather than in person. Which for me isn't good.

Women - I'm in a weird place regarding women right now. I'm pretty lonely but at the same time I really don't trust people like I used to and I'm really not letting people in. I push people away when I used to be so much more open. I've noticed I've been rude to people who didn't really deserve it. My skin has hardened. I used to be a nice guy. Now a lot of the time I just feel like an asshole. I just want a hug or someone to ask if I'm okay, but I put people off doing that. I honestly cannot see any woman finding anything of worth in me. I just don't know what I have to offer.

Home life - I wouldn't say home life is particularly bad, but it's not ideal. Not where I want to be. My sister's and my friends are all getting hooked up and moving on. I'm scared I'm gonna get left behind.

So there we go in a nut shell. I'm not gonna apologise for my whinging. SG has always for me been a place where I can say exactly how I feel.

Eurovision's on. It's fucking mental.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
spamtwo:
Drawing is a skill and it's a skill a lot of people don't have so don't put yourself down.
Jun 1, 2010
squee:
Same here with the 'greenhouse' effect, sucky isn't it! Retail is also making me want to teach old people to say please and thank you, apparently they disappear from our vocabulary at about 65, strange
Jun 2, 2010

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