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hem90

Washington

Member Since 2013

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/Life

Nov 22, 2013
1
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The girl who I had an interest in who ditched me on my birthday has been super nice. However, I don't trust nice anymore. Her ex, who she ditched me for, has a girl now. I think she has been paying more attention to me because of that situation. Its too volatile. Obviously people with histories dont work out well with me.

There was another girl who I was talking to who asked if I have an interest in her. I do, but we dont talk much because she works three jobs. Likewise, we've only hung out once. I offered to help her with Thanksgiving so she doesnt have to be lonely because I spose it always it. She told me she is also talking to someone else and she is trying to figure out which one of us to pursue. Nothing is serious at the moment anyway, obviously, but there is definitely a reoccurring theme of always taking a backseat until I am convenient.

I stayed up late to help a friend with her vapor store last night. I still smell like the coffee and tobacco flavored samples I made.

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hem90:
@superbabzy IDK. I feel like I get what I deserve. I am excellent at being alone. I live by myself, I am not especially close to anyone, my family relies on me more than the other way around (financially and to solve their conflicts). I work. I go to school. I travel. However, it seems because I am so shut out I cling to those who show my any sort of affection even more. Most other people don't have the patience to keep up. Instead of having many friends I have a couple and hold onto them, even after things go to rot. =\
Nov 22, 2013
superbabzy:
Ok, I can sympathise there. I'm not close to many people. My biggest fear is rejection. Over the years I have had bad relationships with people that are not what I need. Toxic relationships you could say. I think it's because I know it will end. I won't be rejected and get hurt. Except I do and have.  I'm slowly learning that I do actually deserve to be loved for who I am. I'm making better choices (I hope!) I have a busy life too with work. I rarely meet people but that's ok. If the right person comes along that's great. It's a struggle, yes. This isn't the life I expected or planned when I was 18 but you know what? I'm here now; I have to go with it. I refuse to dwell on my expectations. What I'm saying is you do deserve good things and don't sell yourself short. It's human to want affection and connection but don't let others use this to manipulate you. 
Nov 22, 2013

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