Recently I've been finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I'm 22 years old and I still feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have it all figured out. Sure, I act all calm and collected but the truth is I'm not. I thought I had everything figured out and then I wake up one morning and my entire life has changed. I'm stuck with an apartment payment and electricity bill, all without a job. I get up every morning and search vehemently, hoping that I'll make the deadline that I set in place for myself.
I've never lived apart from my family, and now the time has come for me to grow up almost instantly and take care of myself. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not complaining, I'm simply saying that it's somewhat shocking. My parents have always been there for me, financially, emotionally, you name it. So now that they are moving back to the east coast the time has come for me to make my own life. I am faced with multiple challenges in a very small amount of time. I'm so used to facing these challenges with someone else, but now that I'm single again I don't have that someone to comfort me and tell me everything is going to be alright, that someone who is rooting for me, pushing me along.
There has been a lot of turmoil this past month, I lost my girlfriend of about a year, one of my best friends fucked me over worst than I could have imagined, I had to find a new home for my dog that I had recently adopted from the local animal shelter, and the person I want to be with most lives 3000 miles away. I'm having a hard time believing that there is anyone I can trust besides my immediate family. I mean, if one of you supposed "best friends" fucks you over like I was fucked over, who's to say that it won't happen with the next friend you make. I have a lot of faith in people and tend to believe in the best in everyone, but this experience has me questioning that belief.
I want to make this work in California, I don't want to just give up and move on with my life. I want to work for this because this is what I want.
As much hurt as my ex-girlfriend has brought upon me and I still want to reach out and let her know that I still care. I don't know why I care...I shouldn't care, after all she's put me through. I just feel so alone right now, all of these things are happening at such a terrible time.
August 10th is when my parents will be gone, I'll be fending for myself. My brother is going to be moving to Culver City with his significant other which is going to be weird. I hope he finds time to come down and catch up every so often.
I really think that I need to find new things to preoccupy my time, I start school again in the Fall and hopefully will have a stable job by then. If not then I guess I'll have to start making arrangements to move back to the east coast.
I've never lived apart from my family, and now the time has come for me to grow up almost instantly and take care of myself. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not complaining, I'm simply saying that it's somewhat shocking. My parents have always been there for me, financially, emotionally, you name it. So now that they are moving back to the east coast the time has come for me to make my own life. I am faced with multiple challenges in a very small amount of time. I'm so used to facing these challenges with someone else, but now that I'm single again I don't have that someone to comfort me and tell me everything is going to be alright, that someone who is rooting for me, pushing me along.
There has been a lot of turmoil this past month, I lost my girlfriend of about a year, one of my best friends fucked me over worst than I could have imagined, I had to find a new home for my dog that I had recently adopted from the local animal shelter, and the person I want to be with most lives 3000 miles away. I'm having a hard time believing that there is anyone I can trust besides my immediate family. I mean, if one of you supposed "best friends" fucks you over like I was fucked over, who's to say that it won't happen with the next friend you make. I have a lot of faith in people and tend to believe in the best in everyone, but this experience has me questioning that belief.
I want to make this work in California, I don't want to just give up and move on with my life. I want to work for this because this is what I want.
As much hurt as my ex-girlfriend has brought upon me and I still want to reach out and let her know that I still care. I don't know why I care...I shouldn't care, after all she's put me through. I just feel so alone right now, all of these things are happening at such a terrible time.
August 10th is when my parents will be gone, I'll be fending for myself. My brother is going to be moving to Culver City with his significant other which is going to be weird. I hope he finds time to come down and catch up every so often.
I really think that I need to find new things to preoccupy my time, I start school again in the Fall and hopefully will have a stable job by then. If not then I guess I'll have to start making arrangements to move back to the east coast.
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Life is a big challenge compsed in a symphony. some moments are quiet and peaceful, others are overwhelming and chaotic, loud. Just take your time with life, don't expect the very best of everything handed to you overnight. you're still so young! You'll figure it out eventually... at least thats what I tell myself when I look in the mirror