hellzaphat

What if I disturb you? What if I bore you? What if I expect too much from you? What if I reject you? ...I'm willing to take these chances if you are.

In other news...

If I found out today that I have only a week to live, I have no idea what I would do differently and that's kinda depressing. I feel so helpless and ineffectual. I lack the inspiration to do even the things I enjoy doing. For some unknown reason, I can't even force myself to do them, to do much of anything. I have this nagging feeling that there's something I should be doing, but I don't know what it is.

The situation reminds me of one of the recurring nightmares I used to have as a child... I would be in some familiar place, and I would be frantically and fanatically searching for something. I didn't know what it was or why I needed to find it. I just needed to find it as if everything depended on it. Meanwhile, there would be this impossible, insane, unending sound ringing in my ears. And this situation would go on for what seemed like an eternity in only the way a dream could.