1) A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey just did?" he asks. "No, What?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
2) A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to the HR (Human Resources) Department. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget." (hahaha)
Also....
This shirt is a fair bit tight on me so I'm letting it fly from the nest. I bought it used, but not terribly so. No rips, stains, etc... I bought it for $36us. I would love to trade for a large or extra large if anyone has one and is sizing down?
Measurements:
Size: Medium
Armpit to armpit approx: 20" / 51cm
Waist approx: 17" / 43cm
Lenght approx: 21" / 53,5cm
Sleeve lenght: 17" / 43cm.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey just did?" he asks. "No, What?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
2) A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to the HR (Human Resources) Department. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget." (hahaha)
Also....
This shirt is a fair bit tight on me so I'm letting it fly from the nest. I bought it used, but not terribly so. No rips, stains, etc... I bought it for $36us. I would love to trade for a large or extra large if anyone has one and is sizing down?
Measurements:
Size: Medium
Armpit to armpit approx: 20" / 51cm
Waist approx: 17" / 43cm
Lenght approx: 21" / 53,5cm
Sleeve lenght: 17" / 43cm.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I wish I knew where he went! I hung out with him a few times in Ottawa, talked to him on the phone a lot. And then never heard from him again.
Seriously though, I am so weirded out! And OMG, you knew me through the internet when I was a wee teenager!
♥
Jesse was a really awesome guy. And I hope he is doing well. I'm sure he is because he was so talented. He was desinging t-shirts for a while in Ottawa and sent me one along with a mix tape (which I still have!). It's so strange when people go missing in action.