When ever I get sick my sleep schedule goes right out the window. The last few days I've been up until 5am. I have to get back on track if I want to work full time and also take 4 classes this semester. Oi. I just hope I get into the classes I'm waitlisted for. If I don't, I'll be down to 2 classes this semester, and what's the point in that? I thought of this when registering, but the memory of my mother screaming, "Fine then! If you don't go now, you never will! You might as well say you're never going!" So, guilt-riden, I registered. I might just register for a corespondence course at the forensics school this year instead of next.
Another thing I've had to get aquainted with quickly is my parents interest in my going to school. Dad's asked me 4 times in the last 2 days what my schedule is. Who gives a fuck!? I'm going to college, that should be enough. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy interested parents, but lord tunderin' jesus fuck man, back off.
I think this is why I've begun to seriously freak out. I'm actually quite scared to go back to school. I forgot how 'parenty' they get about school. I wanted to get away from that.
I remember when I was in high school and would bring home my report card. It was always, "aww... so close to an A. shucks" Why can't we celebrate the B instead of mourning the A? I had forgotten all of that and now that it's rushing back to me I'm getting panicy.
I've begun to have dreams of school, too. You know the one where you can't find your locker and you freak? That one. And the one where everything's fine and suddenly you're late for class?
Oh God, what did I get myself into?
Another thing I've had to get aquainted with quickly is my parents interest in my going to school. Dad's asked me 4 times in the last 2 days what my schedule is. Who gives a fuck!? I'm going to college, that should be enough. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy interested parents, but lord tunderin' jesus fuck man, back off.
I think this is why I've begun to seriously freak out. I'm actually quite scared to go back to school. I forgot how 'parenty' they get about school. I wanted to get away from that.
I remember when I was in high school and would bring home my report card. It was always, "aww... so close to an A. shucks" Why can't we celebrate the B instead of mourning the A? I had forgotten all of that and now that it's rushing back to me I'm getting panicy.
I've begun to have dreams of school, too. You know the one where you can't find your locker and you freak? That one. And the one where everything's fine and suddenly you're late for class?
Oh God, what did I get myself into?
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Humiliation was also a good key to success for me also. Having these hardass, famous composers give me lessons where i felt so inadequate made me work hard.
Like i told my 17 year old cousin the other day, "First you get scared to write a five page paper, then you do it. You fear a ten page adn then complete that too". Just chip it away.
(it is funny that a "C" is considered "average' yet we fear them like a plague of killer bees).
Yes, to be a kid again...that would be nice. We could read comics an play atari all day.
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