hellkitten

More news about this topic of conversation... This past Thursday Mom asked if they were looking at places to live and the girlfriend immediately went and found a 2 bedroom apartment for them which should be ready on the 10th of this month. She wants to move in then, but my cousin questioned her about living expences and where would they get the money for smokes, a tank of gas, food, etc... He wants to get another paycheque on the 14th before they move out. Dad's more than ready for them to move out. He's going to lend them some money if they build the roof over the deck and get out on the 10th.

We've had people in the house most every day since the middle of April. That's when 2 of the kids from next door began coming over every day, then in late July the rest of the 8 came over because their Mother left. A week before that family left for Ontario my cousin and his girlfriend moved in. Of course that's the time when my anxiety was going nuts and I got a perscription for Ativan. But then again, when you have dinner every night with what's pissing you off, even Ativan doesn't help much. Don't get me wrong, they're nice people but I need a break. I'm an only child and I'm not comfortable with people other than my family in the house. I like my house to be a place I can go and rejuvinate, not entertain.

While this has been going on I've been trying to stablize my anxiety and get back to being a productive member of society, or at least someone who doesn't hide indoors all day long. Living in this hotel doesn't help much. And to top it off, tonight Dad had a 'talk' with me about how he's worried that I'm not doing anything to help myself, that I sleep too much, that I don't have a job, and that I'm not even taking a full course-load. All the things I'm feeling guilty about to begin with. Oi. What's a girl to do?