I SUFFER FROM A MENTAL ILLNESS THAT AFFECTS THE WAY I GO ABOUT THINGS MORE THAN I REALIZE. THATS THE TRUTH OF IT. THEY SAY THAT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DONT NEED TO BE MEDICATED ANYMORE IT MEANS ITS WORKING. PEOPLE DONT DEVELOP BIPOLAR DISORDER, THEYRE BORN WITH IT ITS GENEALOGICAL. THAT MEANS THAT YOUR PERCEPTION OF NORMAL IS SKEWED UNTIL SUCH A TIME THAT YOU REALIZE THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG, OR THOSE AROUND YOU DO, AND THAT IT HAS TO BE DEALT WITH.
SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO DEAL WITH IT. SOME ARE AFRAID TO DEAL WITH IT. SOME ARE OSTRACIZED AND MADE TO FEEL AS IF ITS SOMETHING THEY HAVE TO ENDURE BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE IS TOO EMBARRASSING. SOME NEVER GET THE CHANCE BECAUSE IT DRIVES THEM TO END THEIR LIVES. SOME THAT DO ATTEMPT TO DEAL WITH IT FEAR THE LONG TERM USE OF MEDICATION, END UP GOING ON AND OFF THEIR MEDS, ONLY COMPLICATING MATTERS FURTHER.
ILL NOT LIE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DEALT WITH IT THE WAY THAT I DID. FOR ME IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE OPENED THE BLINDS IN A DARK ROOM AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I COULD REALLY SEE. MAYBE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT WHEN IT HAPPENED I FELT I ONLY HAD TWO OPTIONS DEATH OR TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE FEELING OF DROWNING A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY. WHATEVER IT WAS, I CONSIDER MYSELF ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES BECAUSE THE REVELATION WAS A POSITIVE ONE FOR ME. IT PROVIDED ME WITH CLARIFICATION AND A SENSE OF RELIEF. BUT I DONT THINK THATS THE NORM. IM GRATEFUL EVERY DAY THAT IT TURNED OUT THAT WAY, AND WISH THAT IT WERE THAT SIMPLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE THAT SUFFERS FROM IT.
Matthew Good.