Dont sit there and try to decipher what you think goes on through my head,
what it is I feel, you wouldnt have clue.
You couldnt to imagine the hurt I feel on a daily basis, or see the anguish that I carry in whats left of this heart, you just wouldnt know what to do when all your hopes and dreams are gone, stored in the crevice of nowhere, nowhere you can reach.
I live out my daily life asleep, or working, not because I have nothing to do, because I want nothing to do with this daily life.
Those few moments before you drift off into slumber at night, that feeling like you arent alive, about to fall into a dream-like state, that is the way I see life every single hour of every single day.
Sometimes I dont feel I have ever been alive.
I am so numb thanks to the past and these pills that I can longer trully FEEL emotion, only think it and convince myself that, that is what it means to feel.
You have no fucking clue how sad it is to hold the people you must care about and not feel a god damn thing when you knew there was a time in your heart that you felt alive when doing so.
I am more complex than you could possibly imagine.
More so I am tired of being able to find someone who interests me and knowing in the end I will only feel less than I did before.
This life isnt fair and I am quite aware of it.
Good deeds go unseen with me, I go about daily life being so kind and open and always lending myself when someone in need, needs it. I do it because it feels right but karma is non-existant because someone who does so much for others, sometimes more than herself shouldnt be getting kicked when Im already down.
Growing up I have always wanted someone to call my own, that is just what I always wanted, hopeful romantic at birth but when I get used, physically and verbally abused, lied to, cheated on, and just plain hurt in the end, I lose all fucking hope my heart has stored away for cloudy days.
It seems a new guys every week, no one staysonly passes through. Well if thats the case I dont want shit to do with you.
I know I deserve better, I try doing better for myself but there is so much negativity clouded around me Im not sure Ill ever see a brighter day.
I wouldnt wish my woes on anyone, its horrible finding no pleasure in the things you once loved, floating day by day without purpose, feeling no emotion other than sadness and anguish, and worst of all waking up everyday feeling like youre in a constant dream-like state where nothing seems real.
You couldnt begin to see what I see, or feel what I dont really feel, so dont try to.
what it is I feel, you wouldnt have clue.
You couldnt to imagine the hurt I feel on a daily basis, or see the anguish that I carry in whats left of this heart, you just wouldnt know what to do when all your hopes and dreams are gone, stored in the crevice of nowhere, nowhere you can reach.
I live out my daily life asleep, or working, not because I have nothing to do, because I want nothing to do with this daily life.
Those few moments before you drift off into slumber at night, that feeling like you arent alive, about to fall into a dream-like state, that is the way I see life every single hour of every single day.
Sometimes I dont feel I have ever been alive.
I am so numb thanks to the past and these pills that I can longer trully FEEL emotion, only think it and convince myself that, that is what it means to feel.
You have no fucking clue how sad it is to hold the people you must care about and not feel a god damn thing when you knew there was a time in your heart that you felt alive when doing so.
I am more complex than you could possibly imagine.
More so I am tired of being able to find someone who interests me and knowing in the end I will only feel less than I did before.
This life isnt fair and I am quite aware of it.
Good deeds go unseen with me, I go about daily life being so kind and open and always lending myself when someone in need, needs it. I do it because it feels right but karma is non-existant because someone who does so much for others, sometimes more than herself shouldnt be getting kicked when Im already down.
Growing up I have always wanted someone to call my own, that is just what I always wanted, hopeful romantic at birth but when I get used, physically and verbally abused, lied to, cheated on, and just plain hurt in the end, I lose all fucking hope my heart has stored away for cloudy days.
It seems a new guys every week, no one staysonly passes through. Well if thats the case I dont want shit to do with you.
I know I deserve better, I try doing better for myself but there is so much negativity clouded around me Im not sure Ill ever see a brighter day.
I wouldnt wish my woes on anyone, its horrible finding no pleasure in the things you once loved, floating day by day without purpose, feeling no emotion other than sadness and anguish, and worst of all waking up everyday feeling like youre in a constant dream-like state where nothing seems real.
You couldnt begin to see what I see, or feel what I dont really feel, so dont try to.
mk47:
tryings over rated 4 sho