I'd like to tell you all what has been going on in my life over the last 36hrs or so, not to get pity, but to hopefully educate at least one person... The last two days have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. While I was sleeping Monday night, my hand brushed across my chest, about two inches to the right of my dermal piercings. Normally a movement like this wouldn't wake me, but I instantly woke up bc something was different... Wrong. There was a lump. And it wasn't small either. I began to panic and think the worst. When did this show up? How the hell did I miss this? Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Of course that morning I was already getting up earlier than usual to go back to the dentist so he could remove the stitches from my mouth. Which he did, but my mind was so preoccupied, and it was still so early in the morning that I hadn't told a single person yet.
As soon as I left there I got in my car and called my primary care doctor, but they weren't open yet, damnit!!! I figured I should just go to work and call my doctor from there. Thankfully I saw that @zephi had commented on an Instagram photo so I knew she was awake, so I texted her to let her know what I had found before I drove to work. I needed to talk to somebody, if even for just a second...
By the time I got to work, the doctors office was open and I was able to make an appointment for 11:45. I then proceeded to call my mom, even though she is currently visiting her sister in CA and it was 5:30am at that point. She calmed me down and told me that my grandmother had 2 cysts biopsied back in the day, so that it may just be that. It felt good to talk to her, but it's a very scary thing to go through alone and I began to cry. At the doctors appointment, my doctor thought she found another lump in my other breast. Now I really started to panic bc I couldn't even feel that one! She sent me immediately to have a mammogram and ultrasound. Neither of which I have ever had. Luckily, I did get to choose where I went for them, and I happen to have a friend who is a Radiology Tech at a place that does them. I texted her that I was coming and she looked out for me (the one blessing of the day). I'm not going to lie, the photos taken by both seem very scary to someone like me who knows nothing about cancers, tumors, cysts, etc. It was a VERY large, dark mass measuring at 3cm. The head radiologist labeled it a 'complicated cyst' - a 90% chance it's not cancer. Things are looking a little better. The little lump in my left breast is solid and also doesn't look cancerous. She is not certain about either though, so she want biopsies. And since I'm planning on going to Hell City this weekend, I opt to do it the very next morning (today, at 7am). Well, it's been done, they actually drained the big guy with a gigantic needle and it proceeded to refill with whatever nasty ass fluid was in there. I have since pushed on my chest and I think it deflated again, but who knows. The left breast was NOT biopsied bc my expert lady today told me that in fact nothing was there (phew). It only kind of looked like there was bc I'm on my period and all the extra hormones ALWAYS make your breasts a bit lumpy. So never do a self or any other type of breast evaluation while on your period.
I'm still scared, but not nearly as much. The earliest I will know results will be Friday, and the latest will be next Tuesday. I hope my experience opens your eyes, and that you hold your loved ones a little closer tonight 💞
