Wednesday Sep 22, 2010

0
I really need somebody to talk to. You remember my plan of applying to UT to attend next spring? Well, at first I thought I was procrastinating writing my papers. I dont do well with deadlines so close. My boyfriend was talking about it, and he made me realize something. I am too afraid to attend a large university. Im terrified of change, im terrified of large amounts of people, terrified of HUGE classes instead of my little 20-30 people classes...
I just dont know WHAT to do.
I decided we are still going to move in January, but I figured I can still just take a few online classes and apply at UT for next fall.
I feel like Im wasting my life away. I am so fearful of finishing college later than I should have.
My depression is coming back, really badly, and I am just so lost right now.

I feel like a FAILURE. Somebody help me, a person, a higher being, a hospital.. please.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
delmantus:
i felt exactly the same when i finished school i wasnt sure wether i had passed high enough to go to university and became very depressed through the months before finding that i had managed to get into uni, i then had the worries of change much like u.. i hated the thought f so much change as i was only used to small classes not even 20-30 but more like 3-6 people i became frightfully aware that what ever i do it was going to change me loads so i had better get used to it =/ easier said than done but i have now moved to a new environment and into a class far larger than i had expected, thrown out of my comfort zone but all u can do is suck it up and bare with it and try to have a lil fun along the way =) ive only been here a week and i have made some awesome friends, im very shy so this was difficult. anyways what im trying to say is that being thrown into the deep end is always a worry but most gratifying in the outcomes, go ahead is my advice grab it with both hands and prove to ur self that u can do this =D ur not a failure so dont worry bout that.
ldngrrl:
Just read your blog, I'm totally feeling you on this, I'm nearly 24 and fuck all to show for my class.
You can always try some summer classes beforehand if you want to get a feel for it?

Also, that girl does not look like me :o

More Blogs