heisszeit

To be honest, I think that I just freaked out because Anton was being so smug about it, if he had been nicer and less arrogant he would have gotten further with me. I don't regret leaving but I am not sure that I am being completely honest with myself about my feelings. I think Anton scares me more than I want to admit, Fancy Face is safe because he is so young and there is no future so I already know the outcome and know what to expect so the disappointment is reduced to a bare minimum. The truth is that Anton can actually give me everything I want now whereas before he couldn't because he had all that baggage to sort out and that is real, it involves taking a huge risk, it scares the shit out of me.