hedonisticnihil

Chloe: I am not scared of you trying to fuck me. It doesnt scare me. Its the kiss that scares me. The kiss scars. The kiss is saying yes. It surprises me how scared people are of rejections. How no seems so threatening. I think its a pride thing. No isnt the problem. Its yes. Think about that Connor! Its yes that creates the tears...
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right now,
I have a fuzziness concentrating in the back of my head. I am fucking high, real fucking high, as the comedian said. I haven't been grassed out since last summer, ahh spring break.
I took care of my morphine friend. He gets paid to take morphine. Is that cool, or is that some other adjective. and the war goes on like some extended...
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"the West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do."
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Samuel P. Huntington

Read the man's blog that suicide has so gracefully put up a link.

here is another quote by charles fort, and maybe it contains some insight as well....
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Sometimes life comes at me with tragedy piled on tragedy. Regardless of what choice I seem to make somekind of blood is spilled either literally or figuratively. I feel beated not until submission, no that would be to kind by life, but rather acceptance. I wait for the next turn of events with dread. I ask, "what's next?" Sometime laughter hides in every action, ready...
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I am volunteer for Washington NARAL (I have been for now over 5 months) , tonight was a big event for raising money for that old non-profit. Chocolate for Choice. It was also a celebration of the 30th aniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which is very likely going to be overturned in the next few years, and going from a federal matter to a state...
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I write oh I write endlessly. I am losing something with each word I put on the page, each sentance adding to a collective loss of my identity. The price, oh the price, of my piece. The good news is that i might be able to find a location in late summer or early autumn, It makes working on the drafts more and more bearable....
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The first draft of my play is done, This excites me! I of course still have billion rewrites to do, but to have finished that first draft is to accomplish something.
Well St. Skippy day is coming up, better known as Valentine's day. For some this depresses for others it is elation. I am in neither category. i have been single for nearly 3 years....
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Well happy new year! I do not know how many times one offers this exclaimation before it gets too old. I hope i have not crossed that threshold. so far 03 hasn't put a trinkle in my eye, but then it hasn't made me reach for my razors, to shuffle off this mortal coil, either.
Too much elliot smith, i reckon.
On the suicide front,...
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I have returned home to my burg of Seattle. I enjoyed the famila. I have celebrated this homecoming by seeing my very good friend lukafresh. We ate and drank, and separated our ways. I am now drinking my ownsome. I have downed a shot of Crater Lake Vodka. I really only drink the good shit. I know it will hit soon enough. I am on...
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Well happy holidays, and a merrry christmas. i read a few journals today. They said it didn't feel like christmas because of numerous things. Well put me in that category as well. it never feels like christmas here in so-cali. no snow, no i don't know christmas spirit. well here is too a charles dickenson like event for all you wonderful people out there, and...
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