hecklongtree

Saint Patrick's Day is coming up, which has me thinking: Why is it that no other saint days are celebrated with parades and day-long drinking binges? You know, there are plenty of saints credited with the Christianization of their countries--like the saints from the Scandinavian countries. There's no parade for, say, Saint Olaf's Day. Maybe there is in Scandinavia. I don't know. My guess is that Scandinavians just have a smorgasbord lunch, then go shopping at Ikea. Of course, I'm a Jew. On all our holidays, we just put on sackcloth and ashes, then go whip ourselves.

I see President Bush's political fortunes beginning to wane. Earlier in his administration, Bush was very popular. People asked:Who could possibly defeat Bush? You know, early in his reign, Caligula was very popular, and look what happened to him. Some say Caligula flipped out after his sister-mistress Drusilla died. Some say he was crazy before. I say just because you're shacked up with your sister doesn't mean you're crazy. Not necessarily, anyway.

"That's life, that's what people say/
Riding high in April, shot down on May."