heckler

I used to suffer with a recurring, terrifying & vivid dream.

In my dream I would wake up & be completely paralysed.
I'd struggle & fight to move or even twitch.
The panic would quickly increase until it was unbearable.
Then I would wake for real.
Usually dripping with sweat & being close to hyperventilating.
My whole body completely tense & with a feeling of total exhaustion.

I started getting them in my early teens & they carried on until I was 21.

One night the dream ended differently

The panic started building as usual but this time I decided it wasn't going to take over.
Somehow I relaxed & managed to focus all my concentration & effort into one attempt to move.
I remember a moment or resistance & then I did it
It was if I had torn my consciousness free from my body
I was floating free looking down on my physical self.
I closed my eyes
& woke for real

That was a turning point in my life.

It was the moment I decided I was going to fight my anxiety & not be a slave to it.

one day I mayt achieve that.