Well, I got talked into going to that stoopid "fetish" masquerade ball on Valentines Day. Problem is, I got nothing to wear. I had to go visit my "ugly expert" so I can get some help in creating the proper ansemble. So far I have been advised to wear a skin tight, brown spandex dress with no nylons and white cowboy boots with that retarded fringe going up the sides. Before I go out though, I have also been advised to run through an acre of blackberry bushes and mud for the finishing touch. Dumping hydrogen peroxide into my wounds when I am finished is optional of course. However, it does create a nice "rabid wound" effect. I might have my hair burned off prior to attending the evenings festivities as well...It causes your scalp to emenate such a potent aroma that people will avoid you most of the night. Well, thats about all. Gotta get ready for my night of supirior glamour. Cheers! 