The Adventures of Sandal Boy and Boob Girl continued last night.
We rolled up to the condo of a 19 year old to celebrate Infidelity Girl's birthday.
Sandal Boy and I, in true form, stayed secluded from the rest of the douchebags and laid low in the kitchen with two of my new favourite lesbians. Coworker Kristine and her partner Sara whom do not threaten me because they apparently are both butch dykes. Made out with them a lot to secure my territory as Hot Heterosexual Single Girl. Sandal Boy and I helped ourselves to the beer we did not buy, and at one point he even started eating random Jello pudding snacks from their fridge.
GQ Sean showed up and gave Infidelity Girl a candy bikini and thong which she promptly affixed to her person and wore it all night long until we attacked her and ate all the candy off of her breasts and left her exposed.
Later on, Sandal Boy discovered a bag of sunflower seeds which we immediately consumed and entertained ourselves with spitting them out of our mouths like a machine gun to unsuspecting Random White Guys. Made a mess of the kitchen but 19 year old host didn't noticed because I distracted him every 10 minutes with "Hey, where'd your girlfriend go? I think she's in the bedroom with some random white guy." (This is not as cruel as it seems if you know the full story of Infidelity Girl)
After Sandal Boy and I finished all of the good beer we decided it was time to leave the crappy party, but couldn't find the birthday girl to say goodbye because she was in the bedroom with a Random White Guy. On the way home I was informed of Sandal Boy's desire to lease a house in my neighbourhood.
He is the kryptonite to my superman.
We rolled up to the condo of a 19 year old to celebrate Infidelity Girl's birthday.
Sandal Boy and I, in true form, stayed secluded from the rest of the douchebags and laid low in the kitchen with two of my new favourite lesbians. Coworker Kristine and her partner Sara whom do not threaten me because they apparently are both butch dykes. Made out with them a lot to secure my territory as Hot Heterosexual Single Girl. Sandal Boy and I helped ourselves to the beer we did not buy, and at one point he even started eating random Jello pudding snacks from their fridge.
GQ Sean showed up and gave Infidelity Girl a candy bikini and thong which she promptly affixed to her person and wore it all night long until we attacked her and ate all the candy off of her breasts and left her exposed.
Later on, Sandal Boy discovered a bag of sunflower seeds which we immediately consumed and entertained ourselves with spitting them out of our mouths like a machine gun to unsuspecting Random White Guys. Made a mess of the kitchen but 19 year old host didn't noticed because I distracted him every 10 minutes with "Hey, where'd your girlfriend go? I think she's in the bedroom with some random white guy." (This is not as cruel as it seems if you know the full story of Infidelity Girl)
After Sandal Boy and I finished all of the good beer we decided it was time to leave the crappy party, but couldn't find the birthday girl to say goodbye because she was in the bedroom with a Random White Guy. On the way home I was informed of Sandal Boy's desire to lease a house in my neighbourhood.
He is the kryptonite to my superman.
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I will be soo excited to see you!!!
you in?