heartbaker

Think I'm going to take a break from SG for a while
Not that I don't want to be on the site, or that someone did me wrong
I'm just having some hard times right now

I find my self feeling lonely the second my husband isn't right next to me
Im still in denial that my dog Vienna is gone
I cry everyday wondering If there was anything more I could of done to were she would still be alive
I cry everyday ... Sometimes for no reason

My medicine was working so good and I felt happy
Now it's like they don't work at all
I have 3 wonderful dogs I spoil, a husband who loves me.. A roof over my head
Yet I still feel like a failure.
I quit my job as nanny after I had the miscarriage
Every day I saw those girls... It reminded me I didn't have a baby
I want a child so bad. I'm scared I can't handle fertility treatments again
I could never afford adoption and to pay a surregant mother
I started the shirt business thinking I was going to bring an income in
For a while I did good...
Now... Nothing. I have no money coming in on my side
I don't even have the money to mail shirts I had made for models
I know I'm letting them down...
I feel like I should give up
Maybe the shirts were just a dream I had ...
There was no real hope....

My brothers are gone... Moved or married
They were my only friends... Only ones I had to hang out with
Now.... No one . My phone never goes off , no texts from friends

Maybe I'm just having that year 30 meltdown where I feel like I'm a nobody

Sorry if I'm whining or pouring out my feelings...
Just don't know what else to do
I have no one else to talk to