i can feel it coming on.
its one of those things - you get in weird moods - let your emotions take off.
you are more inclined to go further and do more.
even though i sit here waiting for something to happen - its no different.
i'm worse than broke - i'm overdrawn.
i have a shit job that continually shits on me.
but somehow - for now - its okay.
but its the waiting.
but without the waiting there's no product.
there's no emotion.
there's no feeling.
there's nothing to say.
there's no reason to say it.
this has been coming on for the last couple months - but its started to hit me pretty hard recently.
i need to write something.
i need to put something onto paper.
and see - i can say that willy nilly - but its - for me - like birthing a kid.
its not easy.
you get the itch.
you you start out to get knocked up - well with emotion that is.
you take in everything that you see, are effected by - all the bullshit.
and you sit on it.
you let it eat you alive.
you wait.
you wait for more.
you take it all in.
you hold your tongue. keep yourself from biting someone's head off.
keep waiting.
art becomes more like a food group rather than an leisure.
you intake all that you can.
my problem is that i'd sit down and write until my hands fell off - as long as i finished the damned thing in that time.
that's the problem.
i have a mind that races - goes faster than my hands can keep up.
i don't write continually because i'll lose my train.
i hate that.
i wish i could write a little bit every day and keep going.
no.
i need 5 days to regurgitate everything.
then 1-2 months of recovery.
then 2 weeks or health care for the damned thing.
i don't have that time available to me - which i hate.
no vacation.
no nothing.
i have 2 days off.
but good news listeners.
have no fear.
this post finds me in good spirits.
as emotionally traumatic it can be for me hearing every single shoulda-woulda-coulda- from every aspect i could think of - its just getting channeled.
more importantly its been therapeutic and nice to be back here.
intelligent people find themselves a home here.
its very homey.
its one of those things - you get in weird moods - let your emotions take off.
you are more inclined to go further and do more.
even though i sit here waiting for something to happen - its no different.
i'm worse than broke - i'm overdrawn.
i have a shit job that continually shits on me.
but somehow - for now - its okay.
but its the waiting.
but without the waiting there's no product.
there's no emotion.
there's no feeling.
there's nothing to say.
there's no reason to say it.
this has been coming on for the last couple months - but its started to hit me pretty hard recently.
i need to write something.
i need to put something onto paper.
and see - i can say that willy nilly - but its - for me - like birthing a kid.
its not easy.
you get the itch.
you you start out to get knocked up - well with emotion that is.
you take in everything that you see, are effected by - all the bullshit.
and you sit on it.
you let it eat you alive.
you wait.
you wait for more.
you take it all in.
you hold your tongue. keep yourself from biting someone's head off.
keep waiting.
art becomes more like a food group rather than an leisure.
you intake all that you can.
my problem is that i'd sit down and write until my hands fell off - as long as i finished the damned thing in that time.
that's the problem.
i have a mind that races - goes faster than my hands can keep up.
i don't write continually because i'll lose my train.
i hate that.
i wish i could write a little bit every day and keep going.
no.
i need 5 days to regurgitate everything.
then 1-2 months of recovery.
then 2 weeks or health care for the damned thing.
i don't have that time available to me - which i hate.
no vacation.
no nothing.
i have 2 days off.
but good news listeners.
have no fear.
this post finds me in good spirits.
as emotionally traumatic it can be for me hearing every single shoulda-woulda-coulda- from every aspect i could think of - its just getting channeled.
more importantly its been therapeutic and nice to be back here.
intelligent people find themselves a home here.
its very homey.