So, I finally had that talk with my wife I had been putting of for years about how I didn't think that our marriage is working out. Turns out she was feeling the same way and was having problems expressing it herself. Sounds like we both wasted a few years of our lives avoiding a subject that might of made us both happier long ago.
Anyway, we have decided that it might be best if we both live in the house as we have been and go our separate ways once the economy improves and we'll have an easier time of selling our house. Not much of a problem, though with one exception. My wife now seems more interested than ever in going out and doing stuff with me and giving me hugs and cuddling on the couch than before.
Yes, it's odd because I was complaining about the fact that she wasn't doing this before and that that was part of the problem with our relationship. The problem is that I'm ready to move on (as I have been for a few years now) and I feel if I reciprocate, I'll be feeding her thoughts that we might be able to work it out.
I do miss the physical contact (having only had sex once in about 2.5 years and probably onlye once every month or two before that), though, so it is difficult for me not to respond in kind. I still give her hugs, though. I hug everybody I know. I love hugs. But I am craving more. I just don't know what to do with myself.
Also, after talking with her, there was a great relief and I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had my first restful sleep in nearly a year that night. Sleeping soundly through the entire night. But since then, I have been having a hard time sleeping again. I feel alone and empty inside. I'm not certain what I should do. And it seems all my friends have been pretty distant this year.
This year started off with promise and now it seems that it will end with loneliness and melancholy.
Anyway, we have decided that it might be best if we both live in the house as we have been and go our separate ways once the economy improves and we'll have an easier time of selling our house. Not much of a problem, though with one exception. My wife now seems more interested than ever in going out and doing stuff with me and giving me hugs and cuddling on the couch than before.
Yes, it's odd because I was complaining about the fact that she wasn't doing this before and that that was part of the problem with our relationship. The problem is that I'm ready to move on (as I have been for a few years now) and I feel if I reciprocate, I'll be feeding her thoughts that we might be able to work it out.
I do miss the physical contact (having only had sex once in about 2.5 years and probably onlye once every month or two before that), though, so it is difficult for me not to respond in kind. I still give her hugs, though. I hug everybody I know. I love hugs. But I am craving more. I just don't know what to do with myself.
Also, after talking with her, there was a great relief and I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had my first restful sleep in nearly a year that night. Sleeping soundly through the entire night. But since then, I have been having a hard time sleeping again. I feel alone and empty inside. I'm not certain what I should do. And it seems all my friends have been pretty distant this year.
This year started off with promise and now it seems that it will end with loneliness and melancholy.