Do you ever just have one of those nights where you just wonder why the sky is blue and why grass is green? Where your mind is restless remenissing on old memories and the what if's of life. I've been spending a lot of sleepless nights just thinking. On what I want, what exactly am I looking to get out of life. I've been through my fair share of "mistakes" just as anyone else. I've always just felt like I've been struggling through life taking blow after blow. I have no regrets for everything I've been through as made me who I am today. But at the same time I just can't keep crawling anymore, I just want to run! I need change in my life, I need out of this town. Into a completely different enviroment, meet new people; family, friends, etc. I just dont where to start this endeavour or even how. I just need a push in the right direction. For some recognition, I'm asking for more than just a numbing existence. I dont want a life that feels to synthetic like its all been a dream. I know whats important and who I am, I just want people to know what that is.

I dont know where I really was going with this, I'm sure I could go on. Maybe another sleepless night, lol.

Music seems to put the words right into my mouth.

Rememberance

"I feel I come from better conditions
Buried deep in my mind I forgot
Awake my soul
I want to find and drink this light

Images of the past
Other lives and other places
Always the same embraces
I return to where I've been

I take inside a forward movement
Involved in desire of consciousness
Progress, understand
I want to find the keys of the past

Remember the past present future
Memory is a force
So many things have happened
To me the hardest of all

But the gates would never again
Be opened to me unless
I could bid them open at my
Own will and command"