hazie

I am feeling so stupid I want her to like me way too much... nikki means so much to me... too much no one should mean this much to anyone... all I want to do is hug her kiss her like she did me ... fall asleep with her in my arms.... but she does not want that... she is sleeping with friends maybe? friends that already have girlfriends... maybe? I don't know for sure and I won't believe it until she says it.... but I'm sure she's attracted to him I wish I was attractive. I wish I lost weight "poof" she would like me then. but I try and I try and it gets no where... so tonight I got home and I drowned my pain in a few green bottles of heiniken, that I bought for her and me to share.... but she was gone like the time before that all I wanted to do is tell her how I feel. I can take the consequences.... she must know and only from my lips... but how can I break it to her that she amazes me more than life?