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hazie

Member Since 2003

Followers 5 Following 16

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Thursday Mar 27, 2003

Mar 26, 2003
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tonight was one of the best nights I ahve ever had... EASILY...

Carlos called in sick today to work..... so after my shift I went over to his house... but not before inviting nikki . we went and played pool and nikki came... yea we almost thought she was going to flake.... despite carlos being all over her (which REALLY bothers me... I mean like grr it bothers me alot actually) anyhow I was messing with her all night and we were playing off eachother REALLY good it was so awesome.. we started talking about movies..... mmmm kevin smith movies.... clerks, mallrats... man oh man! we have to hang out again I think just her and me would be the best but yea I dunno not happeneing.

oh look mash is on I'm gonna get in bed soon and watch it to sleep.

anyhow after a few rounds of pool.... we all went back to carlos' house and met up with his brother richard...... neat huh? indeed.... we started playing cards and richard had this game where you name movies.... like someone would come up with the firs letter ( s a b .... whatever y'know) and then we'd go around thinking for titles... sounds easy huh? VERY easy ... well when you're buzzing and are trying to play cards at the same time... as well as having pressure put on you to answer.... wow it's really hard... when you're FORCED to think of something like that...

anyhow we did that whole trying to play poker and that game at the same time the rest of the night until about 4am....... it was a great night nikki is like so perfect for lack of a better word.

::sigh::

I'm supposed to be over her though frown

anyhow carlos was ALL over her we all went out for a smoke (no I didn't smoke cause I don't smoke) and like he's a little sick so he had brought a blanket... we were out there talking and stuff. and yea he was just holding on to her back and nuzzling her... I was getting upset... cause carlos says he has no interest in her but everytime they are together it's obvious that he is interested in her. yea I started to get annoyed by that alot cause he KNOWS I like her.... and I think she knows I like her... I've never really said it to her anyhow. yea arg. she told me about this party that's being held at her place on friday ... on her day off ... mine too I REALLY want to go and be with her but I know if I go we won't be really schmoozing like that there will be alot more people alot more people hitting on her and I dunno if I could take that.

anyhow they wanted to go to sleep and her and I were like "we have beds we'll sleep in them" so we leave out and she gives richard a hug and carlos a hug.... and yea we walk out... she's really looking tired (or drunk) probably just tired I was like "are you going to be okay to drive home?" she says yea and that she's just tired so I say okay... drive safe okay? (we're walking to our cars) and then she started saying something like she's really okay.... and I'm like "hey I only say it cause I care about you" (whoops I guess I let it slip) and then like wow this is not so easy to write about... it's stupid really. she was like "well if you really care you'd walk me to my car door" and I was like okay to prove that I do ... so all of 4 feet... I walk her to there... and well we hug ... she squeezed me really tight and nuzzled my neck a little bit I squeezed her tight and did the same it felt wow I can't even describe... a hug has never felt better than that one EVER for me. it was wonderful... then she gave me a kiss on the neck.... I didn't kiss back... she was slightly intoxicated and I didn't want to take advantage... I regret it now.... what if she didn't make it home I would have to regret the rest of my life not acting on what I feel... how much I feel for her.

I really REALLy like this girl so much. despite things that are not perfect with her .... she's not perfect.. but she is enough for me.

she is so god I can't even think of a word love

I said goodbye and drive safe... ::sighs::

I don't know what to say

I like this girl so much... I want to spend more time with her... I wanted to be so random and kiss her when we were playing pool I wanted to put my hand on her cheek and kiss her soft lips.... look deeper into her eyes than anyother ever has. but I didn't. I can't I would get slapped she dosen't like me like that she wants to be friends... why do I have to complicate this even more? by liking her so damn much when she dosen't even see me in that light.... I wish I could fall asleep spooning with her and kissing her neck frown goodnight . frown
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
psychoneurotic:
I would give ya advice.. but i can't concentrate long enough to read all of that.... frown Sorry

-Psycho x
Mar 27, 2003
pr0ject605:
Dude, situations like that are hard enough to give advice on when you know the person... and even harder online. Tho honestly, it sounds like she'd be pretty lucky to have you, and I'm sure that if she doesn't already realize it, she will soon enough. If I were a prick, I'd say have one of your other female friends go out with you guys sometime and hang on you a lot just to see if dreamy girl shows any signs of jealousy... but I'm not a prick, and I'd never advise you to do that... Nope, not me. smile

Best thing to do tho, is probably just talk to her as soon as possible and just ask her how she's doing, since she was drunk and all the last time you saw her, and you were/are concerned about if she got home ok (tho you should have offered her a ride home, shame on you.) And depending on how well you flirt, or how subtle you can be, drop a few hints about the hug and neck kiss and be like "You're lucky you didn't do that when you were sober or I'd have pounced you." I dunno... just express concern and be happy that she's ok, and never miss a chance to remind her that you care. She'll pick up on it sooner or later. Until then... you can't go wrong with huggin wink
Mar 27, 2003

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