Monday Apr 30, 2007

0
I have no idea whats wrong with me now,
i'm beginning to get depressed too fucking often, and it's not the normal feeling sorry for myself stuff, i really don't wanna be here!

I'm getting to the stage where all i want is to be left alone and live out my life in some shitty flat in a dead end job...and i'm looking forward to it.
The problem is i think i'm too far gone for myself or anyone else to drag me out of it,
since i gave up of relationships i seem to be given up on life,
the only thing that really makes me happy is music.
I've tried drawing and it doesn't work anymore!

I want the old days back,
before i even had a gf,
before i started drinking,
before all the fucking debt,
when i was 19 and all i had in life was my room, my drawings, and my music.
And my only problem was what graphic novel to buy this week!

Everything was great,
my job was fun,
i didn't need to bother with a social life,
and i didn't feel this way because of her!

I'm blaming her for this,
ever since her my life has been fucked!
I couldn't draw,
i stopped watching anime,
i started drinking,
and i forgot who i was!

...sorry if i went on too long,
but i needed to say it.
megabyte:
awh, that sounds so sad! I can relate to wanting to go back to a time before everything started getting complicated, before people changed you and eroded you into something different than you were before. If it helps, you can pick yourself back up, and things will be okay.
Hope you feel better soon!
kiiara:
*hugs*

dont forget me. if you need a chat/drinking buddie, i'll be there. EVEN if i need to go to the portrait to do it. Everyone has someone like this in their life. but J, you really need to get over this. I'm worrying for you xxx

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