hayes

Been sick the past few days and not sleeping for more than a couple hours at a time so my dreams have been quite disjointed, even more than usual. I do remember that my husband was in one of them the night before last, he asked me to follow him and started to lead me through what seemed to be one of those playgrounds for kids with the bridges and stuff somewhat like a pirate ship style, and I got to an end and I lost him. This is pretty big for me because I don't often dream of him and typically when I used to he would always be doing something to scare or spite me in some way. This went on for years, I remember one dream in perticular that I was babysitting like 5 kids and he came over and I was trying to round up a couple of the smaller ones and when I came back into the room he was making out with this 15 year old girl and they were laughing in my face as she was sitting on his lap. Long after that I dreamt that I was at a party and he was there and he just smiled, this seemed to be a breakthrough in some way for me. Next time we were in my highschool (which 80% of my dreams typically end up in whether it be my highschool or elementary) and we were just hanging out in one of the rooms together, not talking but just there. I was starting to see a pattern of some kind here and would wake up so excited to tell him all about it. He was just happy to hear that I wasn't having horrible dreams about him because he was thinking subconsciously that I probably hated him and in turn would dream the opposite to make myself feel better about it. The most amazing thing was the night I had the sex dream about him. He was my sub and I did bad things to him and he loved it. I never woke up so impressed with one dream, and with such a feeling of wanting him. Not just to f*#k but just to hang out. I found myself thinking about him all day long and wanting to get out of work so bad just to go home and sit on the couch beside him. This is going back about a month ago. Not long after a good friend of mine lost his love and I think something finally woke up inside me and said you better appreciate what you've got because you know it's all you've ever wanted and it wants you too...