Look I'm actually writing, wow. I guess I just find it easier to throw up a song instead of taking the time to sort out my thoughts. And typically one artist or another can pin down my feelings better than I can. So in the past 4 weeks my days have consisted of getting drunk, crying, smoking lots of weed, letting my mind reel back to that day when I should have just stayed, then crying about that again, then getting more hammered, then dreaming about it all over again and waking up actually crying, I didn't think that really happened. There were some good dreams too, but they seemed to be harder to wake up from than the bad ones. I figured it would start getting easier, I would stop thinking about it after a while, or well less anyway, but yet again just last night I find myself laying my head on a tear soaked pillow at 4am wondering why I thought I had to do this to myself. Why I thought I had to do this FOR myself. All the while imagining all the things I would love to do to make her smile, and wishing I had the guts to just see it for myself. Encountering something in each of the last 26 days that tells me what a fucking fool I am...
This is called lobotomy in acrylics..........I could sure go for one of those right now
This is called lobotomy in acrylics..........I could sure go for one of those right now
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& the prize..
..is far greater than the struggle..
[course i'm sure there's another "but what if" to come, so i don't know why i'm here bawling my eyes out..]
Yep, Bristol is a fun place especially on weekends involving SGUK meets. When you make it over to the UK a few pints are definitely in order
Next February i'm going to the USA for the first time. Las Vegas for one of my best friends 29th birthday. It's still months away but i'm already excited