hawtpink

I don't start work til this weekend. I fucking live for work. That's all I do. I'm so bored. I hate this. It makes me wonder what was really wrong with 50+ hours a week at Target. Heh.

I've been really sad lately. My brother's been an asshole to me this entire week. He won't leave me alone about my piercings either. He said they're trashy. He keeps asking me to take out my tounge ring and the undustrial. It kinda makes me wanna get more done. Haha. Anyway, he's just been really mean to me lately.

It was different when I got here. He was all happy. I'd seen him once in like two years. Between like the ages of 13 and 16 I was in and out of hospitals for self-mutilation and suicide attempts. When I got here he was like, "I know we had some issues in the past, but I was always there for you and I always will be."

I think I kind of agreed with him then, but it's hard to remember good things when you feel like I do. I remember he called me a whore the night I slit my throat. I remember he called me while I was in State Hospital to tell me that I wasn't his sister and he never wanted to see me again. He got what he wanted, for two years, and all the sudden he cared about me again.

I have a tendancy to block out the bad memories and then when he makes fun of me or tells me I dress like a freak I'm left wondering, where the hell did that come from?

Meh. Screw him and his polo shirts. *lol*

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.Me.