I believe that everything happens for a reason - and that people enter my life for certain reasons. Fate.
Why did you enter my life? I don't know yet. Are you sign? I think so. Am I scared shitless? You count on it. It reminds me of a quote... a bright quote. Go figure right? "but me I'm not a gamble - you can count on me to split." I won't split- split... but I might hide underneath my mom's bed.
I just wish that I could get over my little hang ups and make this easier on both of us.
I'm sure the big picture will present itself soon enough - and this will all make sense.
Of course - maybe my whole fate thing... is just some naive 21 year old girl thing - but you have to leave some room for naiveness. If you don't the whole world will swallow you.
I wish I was more wise. Wiser beyond my years.... With soulful eyes that have hundreds of years beyond my scope.
And I wish my heart wasn't so heavy. Do you notice that it's heavy when we kiss? It seems like it holds the weight of world.
My heart is heavy and my hands shake when I think about this. My stomach feels empty and sick. Sometimes I feel so sick with worry that I can't even eat the smallest grain.
I'm trying not to worry. And trying to remember that everyone is different. But, sadly - the broken hearts before you wont let me go. Possibly a defence. Possibly my sub conscious warning me... Maybe I'm just scared.
I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that I can't be more. Maybe I'm enough and just don't realize it yet. I have a tendancy to not realize things until it's too late. I guess everyone does. Isn't that the basis of most things?
I'm not even sure of the smallest glance - let alone myself. Maybe that's where all of this lies. Maybe I need to become brave again. Maybe that's nearly impossible.
Does this even make much sense. I'm writing this all down, not even sure I can post it. My heart is on my sleeve. As it always is. I'm just hoping I have enough duct tape to secure it there.
I am going to make it through this year - even if it kills me....
Why did you enter my life? I don't know yet. Are you sign? I think so. Am I scared shitless? You count on it. It reminds me of a quote... a bright quote. Go figure right? "but me I'm not a gamble - you can count on me to split." I won't split- split... but I might hide underneath my mom's bed.
I just wish that I could get over my little hang ups and make this easier on both of us.
I'm sure the big picture will present itself soon enough - and this will all make sense.
Of course - maybe my whole fate thing... is just some naive 21 year old girl thing - but you have to leave some room for naiveness. If you don't the whole world will swallow you.
I wish I was more wise. Wiser beyond my years.... With soulful eyes that have hundreds of years beyond my scope.
And I wish my heart wasn't so heavy. Do you notice that it's heavy when we kiss? It seems like it holds the weight of world.
My heart is heavy and my hands shake when I think about this. My stomach feels empty and sick. Sometimes I feel so sick with worry that I can't even eat the smallest grain.
I'm trying not to worry. And trying to remember that everyone is different. But, sadly - the broken hearts before you wont let me go. Possibly a defence. Possibly my sub conscious warning me... Maybe I'm just scared.
I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that I can't be more. Maybe I'm enough and just don't realize it yet. I have a tendancy to not realize things until it's too late. I guess everyone does. Isn't that the basis of most things?
I'm not even sure of the smallest glance - let alone myself. Maybe that's where all of this lies. Maybe I need to become brave again. Maybe that's nearly impossible.
Does this even make much sense. I'm writing this all down, not even sure I can post it. My heart is on my sleeve. As it always is. I'm just hoping I have enough duct tape to secure it there.
I am going to make it through this year - even if it kills me....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
evanx:
I'm trying again.
tedriot313:
so you have a problem you need fixed? how bad you want him hurt? a little? bloody fucking mess? 