So yea, I've been terrible when it comes to being active and social on this site or on my instagram. Honestly I've been on guard and its never good when I have my walls up.
I understand people go through change in their lives. Ive been going through a lot of it. Some eye opening, some of "damn I should have been more aware" but thats life. I know that I don't cater to too many tastes here on SG. I know that I don't have many followers on IG. I get it. We have our successes our own way. I don't even know if Ill even have success in being an SG girl. It gives me a tremendous amount of doubt only because of such criticism gathered on the fact that you are a hopeful or putting yourself out there. I mean I have no problem with this company, with this site, with the people Ive interacted with this site.
Honestly, you are all the most beautiful people that society cloaks over. So accepting, so welcoming.
With that being said, no, Im not leaving the site. But I am under a ton of stress. The amount is one I can't explain because I just can't point my finger on it but I guess its the shift of holiday coming. With work becoming more demanding and with my unexpected relocation back to my childhood home, its all been a little eye opening as well as discouraging. Ive been focusing on my art lately trying to venture into something Ive been wanting to do for so long but didn't have the right teacher to do it till now. Ive been trying to replace my old drawing tablet to get back into my digital art digs but tablets are not cheap either. I know it seems like I'm trying to do it all but in reality, Im just trying to keep myself level balanced and level minded.
I don't know if Ill be more active on IG since honestly, the most hypocritical people are encompass that site but then again, we live in a world of hypocrisy. I know I shouldn't care what people think. Its just tiring to hear over and over through the grapevine of friends of what I do when they aren't any better of people. Im not saying I'm a bad person but criticizing people for showing what they got in a tasteful way and showing how much they love their body isn't as good when you're not doing as good with your craft but think youre a bad ass or whatever. I won't specify what they do because its no one's concern but seriously, wtf.
I guess thats just a bit of clarity of whats been going on with me mentally. I know ill get out of this slip soon. but for now, Ill just deal with the cards that have been dealt. To those who have hung in there'd showed outpouring support, you are in my heart.
xo, Hatsune
