Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

hati

Portland, OR

Member Since 2003

Followers 23 Following 17

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Feb 03, 2004

Feb 3, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
A letter to the girl I have yet to meet, if she in fact exists:

Please give it to me. Please make me the mix. Make me the mix that will make me realize I love you becuase of your taste in music. You know I haven't been in a committed relationship with a girl in almost two years. The last one, the last girl I loved, she gave me a mix. A mix that changed my life.
I'll admit, I didn't like it at first. I didn't understand the appeal of "low-fi." It was a bad time it my life. Things were going downhill. The rebuilding, though, was centered on that mix. For the first time ever, I wasn't intimidated by the record store clerks. I said I needed this or that, and then felt a small twinge of pride as the person behind the counter raised their eyebrows in surprise. Yes, I know I looked so preppy. I dressed differently then, too. So why was I looking for these albums? Becuase they were going to be the fuel in my vehicle for change; the music that would be the building blocks of my new and vastly different life. An unlikely change to make at 25 years of age, but one that I knew I would make..
I bought 16 albums just becuase of that mix. The girl who gave it to me, I loved that unblanced, substance-abusing, beautiful girl for a million reasons, but none of them have lingered like this mix. When I put in on, I can still feel all the anger and heartache that was her life. Our coupling was proof that love is a sickness. Love can be cheerful and sweet, but we had was a dark, tortured obsession.
That was a long time ago, now, and we can't even talk to each other anymore. All that's left is disgust, fury, regret, amd shame. But I still have the mix. Listening to it pains me. It wrenches my heart. It furrows my brow. It hurts me, but it reminds me I once experienced the thrill of exploring a world totally foreign to me. The thrill has faded, and all I want, more than anything, is for you to make me the mix that will turn me inside out one more time.


I am waiting.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
ativan101:
No, it's not me! She sorta kinda looks like me, but it's not.............. wink
Feb 5, 2004
tastysoup:
you are cool. i rate you an a+. you pass life! yay for you!
Feb 6, 2004

More Blogs

  • 06.29.04
    7

    Wednesday Jun 30, 2004

    Teaching high-schoolers at an overnight camp is really tripping me ou…
  • 06.14.04
    23

    Monday Jun 14, 2004

    People, you are not going to believe this. My roomate is offically g…
  • 05.31.04
    28

    Monday May 31, 2004

    Since I only joined SG in the cold winter months, I have always been …
  • 05.21.04
    26

    Friday May 21, 2004

    To those of you who read this journal regularly: The band loved my v…
  • 05.09.04
    35

    Sunday May 09, 2004

    rrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNRRRRrrr And another lap complete…
  • 05.08.04
    3

    Saturday May 08, 2004

    Fuck man. Our internet was down for three days. I'm only now just re…
  • 05.03.04
    18

    Monday May 03, 2004

    Same Planet, Different Worlds: This entry is scatterbrained becu…
  • 05.02.04
    6

    Monday May 03, 2004

    Monday: This video is close to being done, which kind of freaks me…
  • 04.29.04
    16

    Thursday Apr 29, 2004

    WEDROCK last night. Heard Le Tigre do some of my favorite songs, but…
  • 04.28.04
    6

    Wednesday Apr 28, 2004

    This one's gonna be somber folks, so if you don't need that kind of t…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
11
months
19
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 0 followers
  • 14,963,251 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,499,181 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo