"Good news! Now PetsMart has karate classes right inside the store! Want to teach your dog how to break boards with it's head or get your cat to defend against ninjas? Just stop by a PetsMart today and speak to an accredited pet sensai or associate."
And so went another day at the fabulous Marte de Pettes. I've announced that over the loudspeaker several times,...
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And so went another day at the fabulous Marte de Pettes. I've announced that over the loudspeaker several times,...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
It's almost August now. Which means it's time for the dying to start. You notice it in the weather first, as summer begins to die. Eventually, the trees go with it and the now-homeless birds fly south to die on some filth beach with a name no one but the locals can pronounce. Without birds to fly in it, the air starts to die*. The...
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devi:
Damn it! This has been going on far to long- You really need to stop being so overjoyous all the time!
Every time I read an entry from you, my teeth ache afterward from the sugary sweetness spewing from your words.
I don't think I can take it anymore.
Every time I read an entry from you, my teeth ache afterward from the sugary sweetness spewing from your words.
I don't think I can take it anymore.
tinfoilhalo:
Too bad March Of The Penguins wasn't produced by Jerry Bruckheimer . At least we'd get to see the peguins die in awe inspiring CG fueled pyrotechnics . 
Why I Can't Get Laid: Reason 7,294
Trent In Chains: I want to make out with you.
Trent In Chains: And awkwardly feel you up, like a lobotomized thirteen year old.
[name withheld]: is this michael?
[name withheld]:: no i didn't think so.
Trent In Chains: It is, too.
[name withheld]: you're only expressing my wildest fantasy.
Trent In Chains: Let's hang out in a...
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Trent In Chains: I want to make out with you.
Trent In Chains: And awkwardly feel you up, like a lobotomized thirteen year old.
[name withheld]: is this michael?
[name withheld]:: no i didn't think so.
Trent In Chains: It is, too.
[name withheld]: you're only expressing my wildest fantasy.
Trent In Chains: Let's hang out in a...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
clara:
Listen to the Tin Man.
devi:
Looks like you had this bang session nailed untill you questioned her shaving abilitys.
Never question a womens blade wielding capabilitys
Never question a womens blade wielding capabilitys
On Monday, when the sun is hot
I wonder to myself a lot:
"Now is it true, or is it not,"
"That what is which and which is what?"
On Tuesday, when it hails and snows,
The feeling on me grows and grows
That hardly anybody knows
If those are these or these are those.
On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,
And I have...
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I wonder to myself a lot:
"Now is it true, or is it not,"
"That what is which and which is what?"
On Tuesday, when it hails and snows,
The feeling on me grows and grows
That hardly anybody knows
If those are these or these are those.
On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,
And I have...
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'Twas the summer of my youth, a magic butterfly time of flowers and butterflies. The sky burned like some enflamed reaction, as if Heaven were allergic to itself. In that summer I was Joan of Arc on the eve of battle: imbued with the Holy Word and a blood fervor not seen on this world for two centuries. The world was my oyster, yes, but...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fentopal:
You should have stabbed Joey Fatone. Though veal chops are nice.
ria:
roy orbison appears in anything out of the ordinary.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
devi:
I always get a sense of Deja Vu when reading your journals...
Yet I still laugh
Yet I still laugh
mad_scientist:
Awesome!
Thanks for birthday wishes, all. Birthday fun was had. Whether or not it had anything to do with random strangers on the internet is up for debate. But, hey, let's go with that.
Went to a party Sunday that was a combination of several parties. It was my birthday, Deidrich's farewell, Deidrich's birthday, and the celebration of new Family Guy all in one.
So, yeah,...
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Went to a party Sunday that was a combination of several parties. It was my birthday, Deidrich's farewell, Deidrich's birthday, and the celebration of new Family Guy all in one.
So, yeah,...
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tinfoilhalo:
Wait . I thought it went...the more you drink , the angrier you get . The angrier you get , the STRONGER you get . You know ? RAAAAWR!!!! SMASH!!!! And the like . Then you wind up trashing a desert full of tanks and helicopters . 
fireyspright:
Hey sounds like fun. I love the little dialogues you give! And that girl is stupid, by the way. I refuse to talk to a guy unless he tries to pick me up with star wars references!!! 
PUNY HUMANS.
Regard me with terror for I have come upon you, bearing the strange and terrible fruits of my mind. (Which I'm going to share before the court-ordered Prozac kicks in and I decide better of it.)
Back story: Every two or three weeks I make a two hour journey to the fabled San Fernando Valley in order to buy comic books and visit...
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Regard me with terror for I have come upon you, bearing the strange and terrible fruits of my mind. (Which I'm going to share before the court-ordered Prozac kicks in and I decide better of it.)
Back story: Every two or three weeks I make a two hour journey to the fabled San Fernando Valley in order to buy comic books and visit...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
devi:
Happy day-after-your-birthday!
I don't care what those people above me think, because the day after your birthday is actually the one that matters.
I swear...
(bday pirate)
I don't care what those people above me think, because the day after your birthday is actually the one that matters.
I swear...
(bday pirate)
zeroxnine:
the people below devi agree. its the day after that counts.
happy 621st birthday + 1 day
happy 621st birthday + 1 day
Greg Felp's nose began to bleed. He was used to the nosebleeds by now, having long ago accepted them as just part and parcel of his theoretical brain aneurysm. Wiping his face clean with his sleeve, Greg ducked into the nearest bar without breaking stride. No one took notice of him as he headed for the restroom. He washed his face thoroughly, sat down on...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
fenchurch:
Returning compliments with like in rhyme is always a good social move. In my limited experience, anyway.
fireyspright:
I was thinkng more about dehydrating carrots, or singing showtunes, but whatever you need me for I guess....
Now that the post-Valentine's Day season is among us and the major retail stores aren't still telling you what is or is not romantic, most or all of you are at a loss as to what you should do for your loved one. So I'm here to help you. Or destroy you, I haven't really decided yet.
First up, some tips for the dudes. The...
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First up, some tips for the dudes. The...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
missmeemee:
Nice one babe!
Happy Monday!
xox
Happy Monday!
xox
calvinbrookfield:
We should form a club-- heterosexuals for Morrissey
Being a crusader is hard .
Since you work at Le Marte de Pettes, i have an infininately wondered question... If ferrets are illegal in CA, how come you sell the coolest shit for them to play in?
And how come the Chinchillas are no longer in that grey dust, but cedar shavings?
Please help a confused kitty understand
ps. i found you thru the silly SG match thingie... we like, match or something.