About two to three years ago, I ran a Kittie fan site called They're A Million. It wasn't your normal Kittie fan site; it was more of a parody fan site. I was kind of sick of seeing the same damn web pages being made by different people (a few stolen pics, bio info straight from the official web site, horrible spelling/grammar, and almost always a painful "I love Kittie sooooo much so you should e-mail me and be my friend" letter). Anyway, it was pretty successful for what it was: stolen html (with the colors changed), bad jokes, overly-hormonal essays about boobs, that sort of stuff. It's actually linked on the official site and I know for a fact (either through first-hand conversations with the girls or through their friends) that the lineup (of that time) of Kittie all saw it. And I know Mercedes and Fallon were fans of it (or claimed to be, anyway), but Morgan and Talena weren't so keen about it.
I'm getting off topic with all this bragging. Back to my point: I stopped working on the site about two years back. A few factors contributed to this: Kittie's second album didn't do it for me the way their first one did, Fallon and Talena got kicked out or quit (no one knows what really went down), my webhost added pop-up ads to the site, and heavy metal in general just started to disinterest me. So, even though the page has been sitting, collecting interdust for a while, I still get a random e-mail or two every couple of weeks about it. It's usually no big deal. Sometimes I'll carry out a conversation, but those never last more than three weeks before one of us stops responding.
But the other day I got a really strange one. I have no idea what to do with it and I don't want it to just go to waste. So I decided to post it here. It reads:
"Subject: accidental guy
Hi. I was fuckin bored, I got lost in the web and stopped at your site completely by chance. I dont know much about Kittie and Im not their fan also. But! I think that youre an amazing person, what an imagination and sense of humour (!!!). You shine! You made me get some songs of Kittie, I think theyre sexy. Youre SEXY too! ... Great person and you know that. Do your stuff baby, fuck those who complain (and God! I wish you could fuck me ;-).
Sweet kisses,
Mark
(Poland, Europe)."
This is by far the strangest e-mail I've ever received. But it's also the coolest.
Just wanted to share it.
Other stuff.
For the next week, I'll be trying to influence the universe through a technique called "Positive Energy Channeling." Either I completely made this up or I've ripped something that I can't remember off. But it goes like this: I focus on everything positive in my world, while ignoring the negative. All the positive energy I send out will journey across the universe, gathering more positive energy the further it goes. Like a karmic sponge. And then, when I call for it, the energy will travel back and fill me with what the universe will consider good luck. And good things will happen.
At least, that's the theory.
And I only half-heartedly believe it will happen.
'Cause I DO realize that it sounds like a bunch of new age bullshit, in case you were wondering.
But here's the reason: I'm trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She's in my Wednesday night class and I think she was giving me the eye a couple of times. Sure, she might've been looking at the guy next to me, but I'm being too positive to believe that. Sure, she might've just been keeping an eye out because she was creeped out after catching me looking at her a record-breaking twelve times, but, again, I'm being too positive to believe that.
I also have a pretty good ice breaker, thanks to the teacher being so adamant that the class be a fun experience.
See, tonight, we had to do an excercise where we partner up, ask our partner a few questions (name, major, occupation, that kind of stupid stuff), and then we read the answers aloud to the class. Well, the last question we had to do was, "What is a special talent of yours or what is something that makes you special?" So, being the loyal Strong Bad fan that I am, I smart-assedly answered, "I have awesome for the past thirteen years straight." When my partner read it, a lot of people thought it was funny. Then, to ice that cake, when the teacher said, "Only thirteen?" I answered, "Some people are born awesome, but I had to learn to be." A few more laughs from the crowd sealed the deal. And, although I didn't look at her for whatever fear-filled reason, I'm dead convinced that I impressed her.
So after the excercise, the teacher says, "The purpose of this was so you all know a little bit about each other. You can know talk to each other about common interests or careers or whatever." But that's not the in I was talking about. 'Cause he then said, "Now, I want you to get phone numbers from at least two people in the class, so you have someone to get homework from in case you're absent." And yeah, a lot of teachers do this so it's not some great master plan of mine. And yeah, it's a really lame in. But at least it's an in.
So now all I need is the right opportunity to present myself. And that's where the positive energy channeling comes in. Hopefully, it will create the right moment. Like running into her on the way to class. Or she arrives late and sits next to me ('cause I always sit next to the door, in the back). That's when I will strike! And then someone better call her momma, 'cause I'm a magic man. (Okay, that was lame; but it's all I got.)
HOWEVER.
I've done this exact same thing several times in the past. And every time has ended with me chickening out. Will this time be different? The odds are 40-1 in favor of me running away.
No matter how much I plan out what I'm going to say, I know I'll forget it all and end up looking stupid. I can run the scene so many times in my head, in so many different ways. But I'll never be the smooth-talking funkmaster I envision.
Something like:
Me: Hey.
Her: Hi.
Me: Um... the teacher said last week to get phone numbers from a couple people. So, would it be cool if I got yours?
Her: Yeah, sure. I guess.
Me: I'm Judas, by the way.
Her: I'm (I forgot her name already).
Me: Nice to meet you, (I forgot your name).
Her: Yeah. You, too.
(we exchange numbers)
Her: (merely stating) You're the awesome guy, right?
Me: (in an overly confident, I'm-so-great voice) Heh. Hey, what can I say? (in the same tone, without missing a beat) I'm a giant dork. You have to expect that kind of stupid shit from me.
And then she laughs. And we get to talking about stuff. And some other stuff happens. And it is good.
I should balance that out with a scenario where things go wrong. But I'm not going to.
Positivity, after all.
D'oh! I need to learn to talk less...
I'm getting off topic with all this bragging. Back to my point: I stopped working on the site about two years back. A few factors contributed to this: Kittie's second album didn't do it for me the way their first one did, Fallon and Talena got kicked out or quit (no one knows what really went down), my webhost added pop-up ads to the site, and heavy metal in general just started to disinterest me. So, even though the page has been sitting, collecting interdust for a while, I still get a random e-mail or two every couple of weeks about it. It's usually no big deal. Sometimes I'll carry out a conversation, but those never last more than three weeks before one of us stops responding.
But the other day I got a really strange one. I have no idea what to do with it and I don't want it to just go to waste. So I decided to post it here. It reads:
"Subject: accidental guy
Hi. I was fuckin bored, I got lost in the web and stopped at your site completely by chance. I dont know much about Kittie and Im not their fan also. But! I think that youre an amazing person, what an imagination and sense of humour (!!!). You shine! You made me get some songs of Kittie, I think theyre sexy. Youre SEXY too! ... Great person and you know that. Do your stuff baby, fuck those who complain (and God! I wish you could fuck me ;-).
Sweet kisses,
Mark
(Poland, Europe)."
This is by far the strangest e-mail I've ever received. But it's also the coolest.
Just wanted to share it.
Other stuff.
For the next week, I'll be trying to influence the universe through a technique called "Positive Energy Channeling." Either I completely made this up or I've ripped something that I can't remember off. But it goes like this: I focus on everything positive in my world, while ignoring the negative. All the positive energy I send out will journey across the universe, gathering more positive energy the further it goes. Like a karmic sponge. And then, when I call for it, the energy will travel back and fill me with what the universe will consider good luck. And good things will happen.
At least, that's the theory.
And I only half-heartedly believe it will happen.
'Cause I DO realize that it sounds like a bunch of new age bullshit, in case you were wondering.
But here's the reason: I'm trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She's in my Wednesday night class and I think she was giving me the eye a couple of times. Sure, she might've been looking at the guy next to me, but I'm being too positive to believe that. Sure, she might've just been keeping an eye out because she was creeped out after catching me looking at her a record-breaking twelve times, but, again, I'm being too positive to believe that.
I also have a pretty good ice breaker, thanks to the teacher being so adamant that the class be a fun experience.
See, tonight, we had to do an excercise where we partner up, ask our partner a few questions (name, major, occupation, that kind of stupid stuff), and then we read the answers aloud to the class. Well, the last question we had to do was, "What is a special talent of yours or what is something that makes you special?" So, being the loyal Strong Bad fan that I am, I smart-assedly answered, "I have awesome for the past thirteen years straight." When my partner read it, a lot of people thought it was funny. Then, to ice that cake, when the teacher said, "Only thirteen?" I answered, "Some people are born awesome, but I had to learn to be." A few more laughs from the crowd sealed the deal. And, although I didn't look at her for whatever fear-filled reason, I'm dead convinced that I impressed her.
So after the excercise, the teacher says, "The purpose of this was so you all know a little bit about each other. You can know talk to each other about common interests or careers or whatever." But that's not the in I was talking about. 'Cause he then said, "Now, I want you to get phone numbers from at least two people in the class, so you have someone to get homework from in case you're absent." And yeah, a lot of teachers do this so it's not some great master plan of mine. And yeah, it's a really lame in. But at least it's an in.
So now all I need is the right opportunity to present myself. And that's where the positive energy channeling comes in. Hopefully, it will create the right moment. Like running into her on the way to class. Or she arrives late and sits next to me ('cause I always sit next to the door, in the back). That's when I will strike! And then someone better call her momma, 'cause I'm a magic man. (Okay, that was lame; but it's all I got.)
HOWEVER.
I've done this exact same thing several times in the past. And every time has ended with me chickening out. Will this time be different? The odds are 40-1 in favor of me running away.
No matter how much I plan out what I'm going to say, I know I'll forget it all and end up looking stupid. I can run the scene so many times in my head, in so many different ways. But I'll never be the smooth-talking funkmaster I envision.
Something like:
Me: Hey.
Her: Hi.
Me: Um... the teacher said last week to get phone numbers from a couple people. So, would it be cool if I got yours?
Her: Yeah, sure. I guess.
Me: I'm Judas, by the way.
Her: I'm (I forgot her name already).
Me: Nice to meet you, (I forgot your name).
Her: Yeah. You, too.
(we exchange numbers)
Her: (merely stating) You're the awesome guy, right?
Me: (in an overly confident, I'm-so-great voice) Heh. Hey, what can I say? (in the same tone, without missing a beat) I'm a giant dork. You have to expect that kind of stupid shit from me.
And then she laughs. And we get to talking about stuff. And some other stuff happens. And it is good.
I should balance that out with a scenario where things go wrong. But I'm not going to.
Positivity, after all.
D'oh! I need to learn to talk less...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
as to this girl in your class.. go for it. I made a complete ass of myself the first time (well second, but that's a long story) i met my girl and we've been together now for 2 years and 3 months. I'm the same kinda guy as you.. odds are i'll run away, but this time i was like if i don't i'll never know. course it also helped that i had a small amount of liquid courage (aka killians red) running through my system, but hey whatever it takes. so yeah, go for it, you'll kick yourself if you don't.
take it from me if i had chickened out i would have missed out on sooo much that it would take way to long to list it all.
ps. if shes a normal girl, shell say: "ok!" and then youre in. if its anything other than that, you dont want her bitchiness anyway. so there. good luck, young padawan.