"Strange, Crappy Short Story Week" seems to have lasted longer than I thought. I figured I'd get bored of it by now and just stop. But, nope. Here I am with another strange and crappy story.
Although, I am getting lazier. This one is kinda incomplete. What it this, number five? Six?
Giant robots love to fight each other. Its the first law of being a giant robot: You must fight other giant robots. Its unwritten, though, like instinct. Giant robots team up, sure, but only to fight other, stronger giant robots.
This has nothing to do with the tale of Credence the Mighty. He was not a giant robot, nor did he fight giant robots. He fought little things, like socks and potato chips. Ever wonder why you lose a sock in the wash or why potato chips go stale if you leave the bag open? Thats Credence, protecting you from danger.
Credence grew up in Canada. It snowed all the time and his nearest neighbor was eighty miles away. So Credence had a lot of time to contemplate himself and his role in the universe. Usually, that role was bored. Credence declared himself to be bored so often that Boredom decided to visit Credence. Appearing to Credence as an accountant, Boredom explained that he didnt need a new spokesman because Boredom was not Credence and Credence was not Boredom. So Credence had better knock off all the Im bored talk. To help with this, Boredom gave Credence a sword made out of trillions of brain cells that had been killed by television.
Over the next few years the sword led Credence on all sorts of adventures. Credence honed his skill as a warrior, defeating many a broom waved indifferently by the evil King Dad.
Once Credence came of age, King Dad sent him out into the world to make his name as a hero. His first quest! During that first journey, Credence almost froze to death during a light snowfall. A traveling salesman, of all people, happened by and saved him. So Credence joined forces with the salesman, who was now Walt the Well-Timed.
The two traveled for many weeks, enduring such hardships as finding mutually enjoyable radio stations and uncomfortably sharing motel beds. But they insist that a purely platonic, heterosexual friendship was forged.
Although, I am getting lazier. This one is kinda incomplete. What it this, number five? Six?
Giant robots love to fight each other. Its the first law of being a giant robot: You must fight other giant robots. Its unwritten, though, like instinct. Giant robots team up, sure, but only to fight other, stronger giant robots.
This has nothing to do with the tale of Credence the Mighty. He was not a giant robot, nor did he fight giant robots. He fought little things, like socks and potato chips. Ever wonder why you lose a sock in the wash or why potato chips go stale if you leave the bag open? Thats Credence, protecting you from danger.
Credence grew up in Canada. It snowed all the time and his nearest neighbor was eighty miles away. So Credence had a lot of time to contemplate himself and his role in the universe. Usually, that role was bored. Credence declared himself to be bored so often that Boredom decided to visit Credence. Appearing to Credence as an accountant, Boredom explained that he didnt need a new spokesman because Boredom was not Credence and Credence was not Boredom. So Credence had better knock off all the Im bored talk. To help with this, Boredom gave Credence a sword made out of trillions of brain cells that had been killed by television.
Over the next few years the sword led Credence on all sorts of adventures. Credence honed his skill as a warrior, defeating many a broom waved indifferently by the evil King Dad.
Once Credence came of age, King Dad sent him out into the world to make his name as a hero. His first quest! During that first journey, Credence almost froze to death during a light snowfall. A traveling salesman, of all people, happened by and saved him. So Credence joined forces with the salesman, who was now Walt the Well-Timed.
The two traveled for many weeks, enduring such hardships as finding mutually enjoyable radio stations and uncomfortably sharing motel beds. But they insist that a purely platonic, heterosexual friendship was forged.
tinfoilhalo:
The Turkey rebellion has been CRUSHED . They should not become much of a threat until around next Thanksgiving . They get surly around that time of the year for obvious reasons . So you can lower the defenses of the West Coast Turkey Brigade...a little . You never know with those crafty birds . That should give you some spare time to create more bosom rich tales of valor . 