Strange and Crappy Short Story Week continues with number four.
Eight women once gathered together to discuss the meaning of life. It was a great debate, followed by a pleasant luncheon. Nothing was accomplished, which everyone expected from the start. A wise man once said, Only a fool tries to solve the universes crossword puzzle. To which a fool replied, And only a wise man would see the universe as the empty space between a womans bosom rather than the bosom itself.
The eight women, a great variety of bosoms, managed to form a strong friendship despite the event and took the fools words as inspiration to create Bosom Brigade 2000. It was a mighty coalition of the youngest and firmest housewives, soccer moms, and over-18 daughters that lived on Legal Street.
The second order of business (the first being deciding on a name) was whether or not to accept Gracey Peetersans suggestion of adding a lightning flash and thunder roll to the end of Bosom Brigade 2000. A vote of two for and six against nixed the idea, citing that it was hard to type a lightning flash and thunder roll in the groups minutes.
Like all radical new organizations, the Bosom Brigade 2000 operated without a leader for a while. Only when it became abundantly clear that Miss Frash Cran-Brounst had nothing else to do during the day did they appoint her Head Chief of Importance. Her new duties were a lot like her old duties, but more important now.
After a while, copycat organizations started to arise. Each new group did the same thing as Bosom Brigade 2000, but with an addition or two to differentiate themselves. The Kitchen Amazons of Henderson Lane, for example, gathered together to read books and discuss them. Helens Angels baked twelve apple pies a day. The Cleavage League watched soap operas for exactly four hours and fifty-three minutes a day. But the Bosom Brigade 2000s most nefarious rival gang was Bosom Brigade 2001, known in most neighborhoods as The Space Harpies. The Space Harpies dressed up as astronauts during their meetings. In every other way, they were identical to Bosom Brigade 2000. This was the cause of an intense feud that engulfed the entire two-mile stretch from 21st and Park Place to Railroad and Top Hat.
One notable clash of these neighborhood titans was during the 34th annual Freudian High cookie sale. Cookies, thrown about while innocent bystanders desperately seek cover. Milk, flowing through the gymnasium like vast tidal waves. It wasnt pretty. But a few teenage boys got to see part of Beatrice Derentos bra through her wet blouse.
For days afterwards, Beatrice demanded The Harpies pay for the dry cleaning. In the name of peace, they reluctantly did so. It was a small step, but it was enough to bring about a truce.
So both the Bosom Brigades joined to become Bosom Brigade 2000. (There had been a vote on a new name and the eight 2000ers beat out the seven 2001ers.) Peace finally came to the west end of Sordent City.
Eight women once gathered together to discuss the meaning of life. It was a great debate, followed by a pleasant luncheon. Nothing was accomplished, which everyone expected from the start. A wise man once said, Only a fool tries to solve the universes crossword puzzle. To which a fool replied, And only a wise man would see the universe as the empty space between a womans bosom rather than the bosom itself.
The eight women, a great variety of bosoms, managed to form a strong friendship despite the event and took the fools words as inspiration to create Bosom Brigade 2000. It was a mighty coalition of the youngest and firmest housewives, soccer moms, and over-18 daughters that lived on Legal Street.
The second order of business (the first being deciding on a name) was whether or not to accept Gracey Peetersans suggestion of adding a lightning flash and thunder roll to the end of Bosom Brigade 2000. A vote of two for and six against nixed the idea, citing that it was hard to type a lightning flash and thunder roll in the groups minutes.
Like all radical new organizations, the Bosom Brigade 2000 operated without a leader for a while. Only when it became abundantly clear that Miss Frash Cran-Brounst had nothing else to do during the day did they appoint her Head Chief of Importance. Her new duties were a lot like her old duties, but more important now.
After a while, copycat organizations started to arise. Each new group did the same thing as Bosom Brigade 2000, but with an addition or two to differentiate themselves. The Kitchen Amazons of Henderson Lane, for example, gathered together to read books and discuss them. Helens Angels baked twelve apple pies a day. The Cleavage League watched soap operas for exactly four hours and fifty-three minutes a day. But the Bosom Brigade 2000s most nefarious rival gang was Bosom Brigade 2001, known in most neighborhoods as The Space Harpies. The Space Harpies dressed up as astronauts during their meetings. In every other way, they were identical to Bosom Brigade 2000. This was the cause of an intense feud that engulfed the entire two-mile stretch from 21st and Park Place to Railroad and Top Hat.
One notable clash of these neighborhood titans was during the 34th annual Freudian High cookie sale. Cookies, thrown about while innocent bystanders desperately seek cover. Milk, flowing through the gymnasium like vast tidal waves. It wasnt pretty. But a few teenage boys got to see part of Beatrice Derentos bra through her wet blouse.
For days afterwards, Beatrice demanded The Harpies pay for the dry cleaning. In the name of peace, they reluctantly did so. It was a small step, but it was enough to bring about a truce.
So both the Bosom Brigades joined to become Bosom Brigade 2000. (There had been a vote on a new name and the eight 2000ers beat out the seven 2001ers.) Peace finally came to the west end of Sordent City.
tinfoilhalo:
You don't really see enough stories based on the bosom nowadays . THAT is a shame . Well , I for one , thought that was a most entertaining and precautionary tale of what can happen if bosoms are used for evil . VIVA LA BOOBS!!!! 
fentopal:
Beatrice Derento's bra through a milk-soaked blouse? Man, I always miss out on the cool stuff.