hastwothumbs

Sometimes, I'll put a donut in the middle of the room before I go to sleep. It's always something sugary, like a glazed or... sugar-coated.
When I wake up, I usually find a long line of ants have captured the donut.
So that's when I take out the vacuum cleaner and vacuum them all. They either die inside the bag, confused and afraid, or they...
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"There are only three things to be done with a woman ... You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature."

-Lawrence Durrell

I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far
Better
Run run run run
Run run run away

...so I said to the guy, "There's no way I could've robbed your house. I was too busy having sex with your wife!"

Right now, I'm wearing Spongebob Squarepants boxers that my mom bought me for Christmas. They're very comfy.

I went to my uncle's house for Christmas dinner. His three kids annoy the hell out of everyone. So I do my best to scare them away from me. As I came out of the bathroom, the youngest tried to talk to me. So I went Taxi Driver...
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Here's a little holiday story I scraped out of my anus.


Merry Christmas, Stephen Hawking

Alan Swine awoke to a loud pounding on the door. He slowly peeled himself off the couch and cursed to himself. After a few minutes of groggy stumbling, he finally reached the door. Before he had the chance to crack the door open, a large man shoved his way inside,...
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This is not the greatest journal entry in the world.

This is just a tribute.

Should've updated this thing sooner. But I've spent the past few weeks doing nothing but buying comic books. I have no more room to store them. Seventeen boxes full and counting. There's five huge piles of Spider-Man and assorted golden-to-early-silver age DC comics sitting around my room. Great googaly moogaly.

I got the Aliens vs. Predator toy set today. Oh, man, it is pretty fucking...
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Here's a poem for you:

"Butt"

A stupid journal entry
Is being read by you.
It's wasting all your free time
With mullybullyloo.

Ain't no poem as dope as this,
It's just so fresh and clean.
Veronica's vagina
Wallpaper's my screen.


damn rhythm thing...

I dunno why but most of my journal entries seem to consist of me whining about girls and then whining about what a loser I am. So let's continue that trend.

My creative writing class sucks. I had to do a presentation of one of my works, but didn't have it finished in time. So I threw together a half-assed poem using bits from preexisting...
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I feel like my comic collection has taken over my life...

grrr...
goddamn insomnia making me feel like shit
goddamn class starting at 9:30
goddamn cute skater girl with huge boobs in my goddamn class parking next to me
goddamn insomnia making me all goddamn sluggish
goddamn sluggishness making me stare at the goddamn skater girl's boobs and not realizing it until she called me a goddamn pervert
goddamn class getting canceled when I really could've...
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