hasselhoff

In ancient Greece after a healthy child was born the mother would cover it, hold it close to her breast and yell up to the heavens "Why have I born such a disfigured child!". This was to prevent the gods from taking away their beautiful children. They Greek gods would get jealous and fuck up your life if things were going really well. Just to remind you in that in the big picture, you're just a bitch and that they're really important.

So... *holds computer to breast* "OH Zeus! Why is my new computer sooooo slow! Why must I never be able to work from home! Must I never play video games made in this century!"